Been hired for almost 2 years and barely did any work
Hi everyone.
I'm actually in a weekly team meeting while writing this. I realized I'm the most useless and worthless member in the team. I sort of knew this 5-6 months in but I hoped I would get more involved as time passed by. I didn't.
I was given a little project that turned out into a massive undertake for my corporation and I was sort of the one assigned to represent my team.
For the past year ,if not more, this is what "I've been working on". There were months where I would log in and just do something else altogether. I renovated my apartment, restored my motorcycle, tried a side hustle and god knows what else....all done during my work schedule.
At first I thought it's not my fault, but now I got to accept that I'm the only one responsible for the mess that I'm in. I'm ashamed of myself for not trying to get involved and take on more, but at the same time I just cannot find it in myself to work on anything related to this job. I'm thinking of quitting everyday and it got to a point where just logging in crushes my self esteem.
Had to take this off my chest so I don't feel like the pos that I am.