u/Heavyachingfeet

When i look up the link between panic disorder and childhood trauma, you get results about how people develop panic disorders from childhood trauma, but for me it feels the other way around. I developed panic disorder when i was 7 with no clear cause and because i did not know what the panic attacks were, i truly thought i was dying, meaning i had multiple near-death experiences as a very young child, plus the time between panic attacks where i was terrified of it happening again. I feel like it messed me up something bad. I fear people won't take it seriously because i wasn't in 'real' danger. It sucks. Anyone relate?

My mom spent all day over at my brother's house with my niece and sister-in-law who apparently have a really bad stomach flu now. Even after learning of this my mom gave me a kiss. I tried to wash the general area but my mom and i hug and kiss a lot so chances are i'm infected anyways. I already have long covid AND a cold rn. Why the fuck wouldn't i get a stomach flu on top of that. Based on the usual incubation time i may start to get symptomatic tomorrow. I work as a postal worker so chances are i will have to go to work anyways only to get sick later in the day and throw up in public and i'll have to call my dad crying to pick me up. This fucking sucks so fucking much. Idk how to enjoy the rest of my day knowing this.