u/Historical_Space_387

Does anyone else feel super demotivated in their final year esp n levels even though it actually matters the most...

Last year I did pretty well and I actually worked hard for my grades, so I know I am capable of doing it if I actually try. But this year everything just feels so messy and all over the place, and I just cant seem to get myself to sit down and do work properly anymore. It feels like I am stuck in this cycle where I keep telling myself I will start later or tomorrow, but I never actually follow through.

At the same time I keep seeing people around me studying a lot, like tracking their hours and being consistent, and it just makes me feel like I am falling behind or that I am not doing enough. I know I should not compare, but it is hard not to when it is literally everywhere, and then I start overthinking and feeling worse about myself, which just makes it even harder to start anything.

I also have this mindset that if I start studying too early I will burn out before the actual exams, so I keep delaying it. But then because I delay, everything just piles up and becomes even more overwhelming, so I avoid it even more. It just feels like a loop I cannot get out of.

And then what usually happens is I only start studying properly when it is very close to the exam. Somehow I can remember things better when it is last minute, probably because of the pressure and anxiety, so it kind of reinforces the habit even though I know it is not a good way to study long term. Like it works sometimes, but it also stresses me out a lot and I know I cannot rely on it forever.

I think part of the problem is that I genuinely do not know how to start studying properly anymore. Like do I revise content, do I do questions, how long am I supposed to study, how do I stay consistent? I feel like I have no structure at all, so I just end up doing nothing instead.

I also think another reason I struggle is because I still feel very attached to my sports and the things I enjoy doing outside of studying. A lot of the time I end up choosing to focus on training or staying active instead of studying, even though I know academically this year is more important. It is not that I do not care about my studies, but it is really hard for me to step away from something I love and switch fully into academic mode. I know I need to prioritise my studies more this year, but I am finding it difficult to balance both without feeling guilty either way.

It is honestly really frustrating because I do not want to fail or disappoint myself, especially since it is my final year and it actually matters. But at the same time I feel so stuck and unmotivated. Sometimes I even wonder if there is something wrong with me because I just cannot get myself to do the things I know I should be doing.

Does anyone else feel like this or have any advice on how to get out of this cycle and actually start?

Has anyone else struggled to talk about their feelings or problems to any trusted adult or anyone in general…

For me, i feel like my parents are present but not really emotionally present. They dont really ask me how my day was, or how school is going, or anything like that. Since secondary school, i dont think they were really there for me emotionally. Not saying they are bad parents, just that i never really felt comfortable going to them with my problems. Also because of how often i get shouted at, i just never saw them as a safe space to talk about personal stuff.

Because of that, i just kept everything to myself and i also didnt really talk to my friends about it either. Back in primary school, i tried once and the friend basically said she didnt want to deal with it. So after that, i just kind of stopped opening up to anyone. I didnt want to feel like a burden, so i just bottled everything up for a long time.

Then recently, i had a really close teacher who i got quite close to, and she became like the only adult i felt safe talking to. She is really supportive and kind, and i treat her like an older sister, even though i know i can be quite annoying sometimes. But at the same time, i also feel like after secondary school, i probably cannot rely on her that much anymore because she is still a teacher and has her own responsibilities and life, so i try not to depend on her too much even though she really helped me a lot.

There was also one time i was going through a really low point after my school sports journey ended, and it honestly meant a lot to me, so i was really affected by it. i was at my lowest during that period, and i just kept blaming myself and overthinking everything. i tried to email my pe teacher at first, but i sent it to the wrong address, so it did not go through properly (unfortunately 😢). So i ended up reaching out to this teacher instead and wrote a long message about how i was feeling like i did not do enough, and kept blaming myself. She actually replied with long paragraphs, which i really appreciated, and she even checked up on me the next day in school, which made me feel like i actually had someone listening to me for once.

Also in school, i am usually quite loud, fun, and outgoing, and i talk a lot and joke around, so i dont think people would really expect me to have problems like this.

And i also realised that none of my friends really check up on me. Like they rarely ask how i am doing or if i am okay or going through anything, and i get it because not everyone is really fit to do that. I dont expect my friends to comfort me or constantly check up on me, but sometimes it just feels like i am the one always there for others and not really the other way around.

And i hope i come across more people like my teacher, because right now whenever i try to show my problems or open up, i just feel really vulnerable and i get this weird feeling like the ick almost, like i feel kind of disgusted at myself for actually having feelings and showing people who i really am when i open up.

I dont really know how to say this properly but ive been feeling quite shit about my friendships lately.

In school, i feel like im always the extra person no matter who im with. I hang out with this group of guys and im the only girl there. We talk, joke, i try to be fun and all that, but when it comes to making plans they have their own group chat and just plan without me. I dont even get asked. I only find out after or not at all.

Then theres this other group of girls, a trio, and im not really part of that either. I talk to them but im not close like that. Sometimes im literally just sitting there while they make plans in front of me, talking about what to eat or where to go, and im just there… not included at all. No one asks me, no one even tries to involve me. Its honestly quite embarrassing.

Whats annoying is I actually do try. Im actually quite sociable. I talk a lot, answer questions in class, joke around, and try to include people, so its not like im just quiet or antisocial. But still no one really thinks of me when it comes to actually including me.

I also have this one friend whos really smart and helps me a lot with my subjects, but at the same time he makes me feel like shit sometimes. Like when hes upset over his marks, ill try to comfort him and say its okay, but he'll say things like “its not okay” over small mistakes, especially for exams like N levels. And the way he says it just makes it feel like my results are way worse and not acceptable at all.

Recently we were talking about goals and i said i want to aim for a B3 converted to O level / even try for an A1 for English. Then he straight up told me theres no way I can get a 1 and that I should “be realistic.” He even said that he himself doesnt think he can get a 1, so how would i? That honestly made me feel really upset. Like why are you doubting me like that? I already compare myself a lot, i dont need someone close to me saying i cant do it.

I know maybe part of it is my fault because i can be a bit distant sometimes, but i dont think i should feel left out all the time because of that. Its just tiring feeling like im always there but not really part of anything.

Idk what im expecting from posting this, just wondering if anyone else feels like this or has advice or something.

hi! im a current sec 4 student and im thinking of becoming a pe teacher but im still really unsure what i wanna do in the future.

im quite passionate about sports so pe teaching feels like something i might enjoy, but ive also heard a lot of mixed things about it. like some people say its chill and stable but others say theres actually quite a lot of admin and stress.

i heard the starting pay is around 3–4k but not very sure how accurate that is. im also not sure what the progression is like in the long run.

im just wondering:

- is the job actually enjoyable or does it get tiring after awhile?

- how much of it is actually sports vs like teaching/admin work?

- is the work life balance actually good?

- if youre a pe teacher, do you regret it or would you recommend it?

also im deciding between going to RP (more sports focused) or NYP (more sports + business) so if anyone has advice on that also pls share 🙏

im quite lost rn so any honest advice wld rly help, thank you