Hi there i saw this group and everyone seems lovely and i am really struggling and dont know how to get past my new found fear of flying thats gone really bad.
So me and my partner love travelling we went on some long flights around a 2 years ago we did singapore and bali from the uk and then we did 6 destinations in australia from the uk and new zealand. (So in one month like 10 flights) dont get my wrong ive never been a fan of flying but once we in the air ive always been exciting to get to the destination. Oh boy how my mind has gone on another level now.
So i had a short flight back to the uk from spain on my friends hen party. It was a few weeks or months after air india and honestly the experience has stuck with me in a really bad way. None of the crew told us what was happening nor the pilot till half hour later but the plane started to go down what it felt like anyways with turbelence on a level ive never ever experienced. The plane was descending down and the girl behind started screaming i dont want to die crying and panicking. People all around started frantically crying or shouting out. I sat next to an old lady who held my hand and we exchanged our life stories about loved ones who died. I didnt scream or react but had pins and needles going all down my arm and kept saying to the woman i was frightened. She said in the 30 years shed be flying shed never had a flight like that. The atmosphere was terrible the air hostesses went to sit down and didnt tell us what was going on. For the whole journey back i could see people in the aisle holding hands, kids crying. The girls behind me petrified with fear in everyones eyes. Honestly i just was thinking please land please land. I am in my 30s.
I went home and said to my partner i dont think i can ever get on a plane again.
Sorry this is long, but now ive developed a serious fear, i kept thinking how the air india people must have felt and kept seeing stories of crashes and how the fear of crashing and dieing or burning and people screaming in that moment.
We were going croatia the next week and I had a full on panic attack at the airport. I started crying. I managed to get on the plane but pretry much the whole time spoke to the air hostesses standing up asking them if they knew the pilots, if they had flew with them before. Looking back it was the smoothest flight ever with a different air provider but when we got to croatia i spent most the holiday googling how to get home without flying. I kept reading the comments about boeing and air india as it was around that time. Ive tried not to look into things now but am petrified.
We are supposed to be going on a honeymoon in a few months and its the first time we have been delaying and not booking. Im so scared. Usually by now we would have booked somewhere and where we like to go is far, the honeymoon destinations we wanted are like 13 hours flight. Hawaii would be 24 hours! 2 planes there 2 back. I would have done it without much thought before.
To test if id be okay we live near a park where you can view the flights arriving and landing above you into the airport. Omg i went into full panic mode in the airport viewing park. The planes coming over our heads i started thinking were going to crash into us. I started crying and had to find somewhere out of the park. I love my supportive partner with all my heart we are getting married and have a strong relationship. But this i can see would be a problem as we like to travel. Im not saying my partner would leave me or anything. But the scale of anxiety and fear i now have of this is ruining our plans and the destinations we want to go to arent feesable by train or boat.
We havent even booked the honeymoon and i feel so guilty. I know deep down my partner feels sad about this i can see it in his eyes. I suffer from anxiety already due to a bad experience a few years ago and i know thats added to this.
So sorry for how lengthy this is. Im just so upset. 😢 if we decided to stick to europe and short haul the train would take for example 8 hours to one plave we could get to by plane in an hour. I would ideally have loved to go hawaii and have a great time. But if we book it bssed on how i reacted at the viewing space ill end up ruining it. :(, im so scared. I have a really bad fear that the plane is gping to crash then will be a goner 😭