Help!!!
Lately I’ve realized that almost all of my opinions end up being minority opinions.
No matter where I go, I somehow become alone. Not externally, I have friends everywhere, but internally. There’s this weird emptiness that keeps growing because I’ve slowly stopped sharing what I actually think. Sometimes it feels like people became closer to me only after I started speaking less.
The more honestly I speak, the more distant I become.
If I go to a temple, I start questioning God.
If I go to a party, I start questioning what people even enjoy about it.
I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. Yet somehow I end up debating both the people who support those things and the people who hate them.
I can’t fully belong anywhere because my brain automatically starts tearing apart every side.
And the worst part is, I don’t even think I’m right.
I’ve realized I’m probably one of the best debaters around me, but one of the worst convincers. I can find flaws in almost any argument. I can challenge people easily. But for some reason, I rarely make anyone truly believe me.
Maybe because my own reasoning is flawed too.
I think everybody is wrong. Including me.
And that thought is exhausting.
It’s like living in permanent mental isolation. You stop feeling understood because even when people agree with you, you already see the flaws in your own argument before they do.
I don’t know if this is intelligence, ego, overthinking, insecurity, or just emotional emptiness disguised as “critical thinking.”
But honestly, it’s getting tiring.
I don’t know how to become normal anymore.