I want to k_ll my friends
It's my rant as the flair says, so it contains a long versions of paragraph saying my whole story.
From my childhood I have faced a lot of racism and discrimination. Let me say you how. So, I was born to a Tamil couple in tamilnadu but my dad had a job in IT Sector in Kerala trivandrum. So after I born, my entire family shifted to Kerala, before that my day usually visits us by train monthly once, my mom living in tamilnadu itself. Here is the first problem. I was raised fully in Kerala so obviously my schooling was fully in Kerala. At there, children and my so called friends tease me by calling me tamilan. (And in recent times, they were calling me pandi) And whenever I go to tamilnadu, the children near my tamilnadu home will tease me as Kerala boy.
I was bit talkative from my childhood, that was the biggest red flag on me cause for some reasons, I slowly started losing friends. Like losing friends completely was not a big deal, but it was like they were with me but not completely. They just be with me just for their laughs by making fun of me. I hate my friends. Sometimes I feel desperate for suicidal attempts but then stopped as I know my life is more valuable these fucking jockers. Idk why they hate me, but I feel like it's my different thoughts that make me distant from my own friends. There are lot of different thoughts that are different thoughts, for example, if my friends plan to go somewhere else and asked everyone that are they coming, I will say it's waste of money. They don't know whether it's waste of money or not, just plan and go somewhere else. There is a turf near by us and it costs 2000 rs for one hour. I tried lot explaining them that its purely waste of money but they haven't respected my thoughts not even a single day. Those are the moments I feel like I have gap with my own generation.
I have cried a lot without parents knowing about it. They feel that they are the next big comedian but they never cared about my feelings. Nowadays going to school is fearful because I need to face them, talk them and especially be calm on whatever they make fun of me. They can tease me, abuse me etc like they can do whatever they like, but if I react to them, they will start blaming me again.
There are lot of things I could say but it may be lengthy to say all.
I kinda lost hope in friendship, and in recent times, I started to think that having no friends is better than having those fake friends. Everyone says getting friends is like living in heaven, but for me it's not. For me I feel like I am living in hell with my so called friends.
Also the title may be bit abusive, sorry for that, but it's the truth anyways.
Also I am requesting you all not to post any funny memes or make me fun or tease again..