Partner and I can’t agree on where to raise our child TW termination
Currently 35W with first baby, partner (M39) and I (F34) have been together just under 2 years. Pregnancy was a surprise however we had wanted to start trying due to age and expected fertility issues. Living in separate cities (BNE - I own unit and GC - he owns townhouse) with a plan for my partner to take time off to be with me in BNE when baby is born (still do LDR in lead up), and “make a decision” after that.
I became horrifically unwell with HG and crippling anxiety and depression which caused admission to a psychiatric ward. Due to that and the fact I couldn’t work and pay for my unit (and we didn’t know how long this would go on for), I rented out my unit and moved in with him. My job is still in BNE and I’m back at work before mat leave.
I have no family or friends here and generally strongly dislike living here. I am miserable and am so worried about the isolation on maternity leave when my partner goes back to work. Due to my “concerning behaviour” including begging for his consent to get an abortion in T1+T2 (he said he would never speak to me again and my parents wouldn’t either) and posing we put the child up for adoption, he does not want to commit to moving to BNE, selling our places and combining finances (so we only have one mortgage) etc. He has lived his whole life here, his job (teacher), family, friends and community are here.
He has said we need to put the needs of our child first - and moving to BNE where we would be in a shitty house (due to what we can afford in current market) in an outer suburb when we are in a nice house is a huge risk. We also don’t know what school he will get placed at which could mean a huge commute when the commute is currently 15 minutes for him (mine is 2h per way when I go back to work and I am not leaving my job).
I realise we are in a privileged position with a baby on the way and are on the property ladder however does my happiness have to be sacrificed moving forward as he doesn’t want to entertain the idea of moving as it’s not “in the best interests of our family”? I feel I can commit to 6 more months here but after that I need to get out, I hate it. Please help, I am desperate. Everything I read points to a compatibility issue which I agree but we have a child on the way and I am not being a single mother when I didn’t want to proceed with the pregnancy.