Opened a small cafe in Raleigh about four years ago after twelve years in other people's kitchens. Told myself I was going to do it differently, something with flat structure, good communication and actually listen to the people on the floor. And I meant it. The first year with four employees it felt like that. We were small enough that everyone knew everything and the problems were manageable and I think we had something good. Then we grew and something shifted and I can't pinpoint exactly when it happened but somewhere between year two and year three I became the thing I left.
I catch it in some small moments like the way conversations stop when I walk into the break room. Last Tuesday I was going through invoices in the back office and I heard two of my servers talking in the hallway and I couldn't make out the words but I could make out the energy and it wasn't good and I sat there pretending to look at numbers for another twenty minutes because I didn't want to walk out and make it worse. I have some money saved up from slots on myprize and I've thought more than once about whether I should bring in someone else from outside to run things. I don't think I'm a bad boss, like I don't yell, I don't play favorites, I try to be fair about scheduling and I've given raises when I could. I opened this place because I wanted to build something that felt different and I'm not sure it does anymore and I don't know if that's fixable or just what growth costs.