Should I message my college crush or just move on?
I had a crush on a girl in college, and honestly, I still have feelings for her even now. Sometimes I think about her even while I'm working.
The thing is, she used to like me too. But we were both too shy to talk to each other properly. We would just say hi sometimes, and whenever we tried to talk, the conversation felt awkward.
She used to hang out with a lot of guys, so I always assumed she probably had a boyfriend and never tried to make a move.
We had a mutual friend who was also my hostel roommate. One day, I was scrolling through Instagram on his phone while he was playing games on his PC. A message from her popped up. My friend and I had taken a photo together and posted it on his Instagram story, and she had replied to it saying, "Say hi to -myname"
I know I shouldn't have opened someone else's chats without permission, but I did, and I ended up reading their conversation.
Most of their chats were about me. She had asked him several times to help bring us together. She wanted him to tell me that she had a crush on me or give me hints. She even used to ask him what I was wearing so she could match her outfit with mine.
Honestly, finding that out broke my heart because I realised how many chances we had missed.
But what confused me even more was my friend's behaviour. He was very close to me, almost like a best friend, but he would tell her things like I wasn't interested in love or marriage. Later, I found out that he had a crush on her too. I still don't understand why he acted that way when he knew how things were between us.
Eventually, she got a boyfriend, so I didn't do anything. Towards the end of college, they broke up. After that, I heard different things from different people. Some said she had another boyfriend, while others said she was single.
Now, college is over, and I'm still thinking about her. I keep wondering what would have happened if either of us had just been brave enough to talk openly.
Part of me wants to message her and find out if there's still a chance. But I'm scared of being rejected, especially after carrying these feelings for so long.
And even if she says yes, I don't know how I'll handle the fact that my friend also had feelings for her. I don't know if that would affect our friendship or make things awkward.
I spent four years in college doing nothing about my feelings, and I don't want to keep regretting it. At the same time, I'm scared of facing reality, whatever the outcome might be.
What would you do in my situation? Should I message her and see where things go, or should I leave the past behind and move on?