u/Huntermommy-

I have PTSD and depression so I guess it isn’t THAT surprising, but these past months it’s gotten WAYYYYY worse with gore nightmares. I used to get them once or twice a month and now they’re occurring back to back sometimes, sometimes 1-3 times every 2 weeks, along with non gory nightmares. I’m not really sure what’s triggering them.

For example: one of my recent ones was where I had gone to visit my boyfriend again (he lives in a different state), and my sibling was telling me not to go, saying their ex there was gonna do something to me. I go anyways cause I miss my boyfriend. Then, something happens that I don’t remember and my boyfriend says he can’t have me in his apartment right now. I end up in this random guys house that my bf apparently trusted, and this guy was HORRIBLE. He was an abusive manipulative person, using me for s*x and kept beating me over little things.

The wife of this guy had a container next to her of metal pins/knitting hooks or whatever, and I eventually steal one and stab this guy clean in the skull with it. I had effectively lobotomized him, leading for him to forget how abusive he was and treat me normally. He then looks through his phone and has pictures/videos of his abuse saved in it, and while he did so, he reverted back to his abusive self because he remembered abusing me. He then tried to kill me along with his wife and some other guy who just randomly showed up halfway through the dream, and I was scared for my life so I just took more pins and stabbed them in the skull repeatedly.

The room was eventually filled with blood and brain matter, and I was in utter shock. I remember thinking to myself how I’m a murderer and trying to think about what I should do. The abuser is still alive somehow, and grasps the chair I’m sitting in. He says something to the effect of “please… tell me you’re alive…” and his hand which was covered in blood and brain matter was flopping wildly like a fish out of water. He tries to grab my hand, and I eventually give it to him and he rubs and I think kisses it? Nuzzling it like my hand was comforting him. Like it was comforting knowing I was alive even though he had just tried to kill me earlier. I still remember how the brain matter felt on his hand… it wasn’t pleasant…

I’m not even sure what this dream could even mean, let alone why I’m having dreams like this a lot more recently. Any thoughts?