Lumbar Back Issues
Looking for any open minded opinions or thoughts on my current situation. Please no negative nancy or ignorant inputs. I'm very sensitive about the situation I'm in and just don't need negativity involved right now.
WARNING: THIS IS A LONG READ. I am trying to be as detailed as possible, that way it can hopefully give you lovely people a better idea of where I am coming from. God bless you if you actually read my whole story. As I am desperate for answers.
Please feel free to ask me any questions in the comments and I'll get back to you. I probably missed a few key details.
So on December 1st in 2024 I had a great slip and fall in the shower (yea I know I know, but accidents happen i guess) and my shower is like a phone booth, with curves at the bottom corners and walls. Small space. So I guess when I landed I somehow did a whole "fold in half" type of scenario. It was almost out of a cartoon. Just imagine if you forcefully leaned forward at the point of no return, folding yourself in half per say and absolutely straining your back.
So I got up fine, and just started panicking. I wasn't sure what to think at first, I was just sort of in shock. One detail i noticed is a small amount (like a drop) of blood came out of my mouth onto my hand. But it was a very small amount and did not continue. It was just sort of a sudden thing.
So then I went into the next room to tell my wife, and I couldn't really tell if I was ok or not. So I pretty much just panicked and started freaking out. I started to get light headed and just felt all around weird. It wasnt like I was in an extreme amount of pain or anything. I was just really worried I messed myself up for good. An impending doom type of feeling.
So I called the ambulance and laid down on my couch until they came. I felt really hot temperature wise, like I needed to cool off. I stepped briefly outside where it was probably 20 degrees and I could hardly even feel the effects of the cold.
But after that, it switched and I began to get "cold" I think it was. Not even sure if I was cold it was more like my entire body started shivering. I was shivering pretty good all over my body. I also began to get sensitive to stimuli and couldn't handle certain noises etc.
All in all I went to the ER in the ambulance eventually, where they did an x-ray of my chest, then an EMG i believe it was. Then tested my blood as well. All the tests and stuff they did, they said all came back normal. So they didn't think anything at all was wrong with me. Brushed it off as "anxiety" and its just "all in my head". It also was not the best ER by any means.
But they werent totally wrong, i was anxious, but its like an anxiety i could control. Not like totally flipping out. I probably did have somewhat of a panic attack after the injury happened though, my heart rate seemed to rise up and I was doing heavy and deep breathing. So yeah I was definitely anxious. But by the time I got to the ER I was more chilled out, and just in a sort of "calm" state of being worried about my back. Worried I just split myself in half or something. I'll get more into my symptoms as I go along.
So then they discharged me, I rode home in the car with the seat laid all the way back and made it back fine. But this time is was pretty late into the night, 12-1am. At this point I'm not even entirely sure what I did once I got home. Pretty sure I just laid in the bed until I went to sleep.
The next day, I just went about my business just fine. I did take it a little easier than usual, I was being mindful of my back and didnt do anything strenuous activities. I wasnt really in pain at all. But when I did certain positions, I could feel like a little "shock" like sensation of pain in my lumbar area. It wasn't terrible at all, just moreso of like a "ok wow theres definitely something there". It quickly just went away as fast as it came. I felt it maybe a handful of times. So then I started to think all day "oh shoot, I really hope im ok and I dont end up pretty much dying" type of thinking. Thinking about the long term. I was scared pretty much. Was actually talking to my wife about how I started to get worried while we were driving to the grocery store.
Then in the store, my child who was almost 3 was acting up, so I went to pick her up from my wife. My wife handed her to me, and I twisted a little to my right side, grabbed her, and when my wife let go and I fully took on her weight(about 30 or so lbs maybe) it screwed me up. It was almost a really hard feeling to even describe. It was almost like a shock-like nerve pain, but at the same time it also just felt like a physical pain, and not nerve pain at all. Just a really weird shock through my back. I panicked and I started to walk out of the store, i only made it to the lobby then I kept thinking, should I turn around and at least make it through checkout with my wife? So I went back and forth, then decided to panically find her again and go to checkout. We make it to the line, we are standing still. And I kept getting this lightheaded feeling like im going to fall down on the floor and pass out. I felt really woozy, dizzy, and nauseous like. I convinced myself then I may very well collapse on the floor and pass out, so I walked out of the store as fast as I could manage, and got in the car with the seat laid back all the way. Here is where I believe things got really messed up.
I started to get that feeling like I was "cold" again. Started to get the shivering back on my body. I took a drink of sweet tea, and it just made it worse as I was trying to calm down. My wife drove us home and I spent the whole ride feeling nauseous like, panicking more, and started crying because I thought "well, this is it for me, im probably gonna be pretty messed up from this".
It wasnt like I was in a ton of physical or nerve pain or anything. It wasnt like I was in agonizing pain.. yet at least.
So we got home, not sure how the day planned out. Thinking back im sure i spent it all in the bed. I didnt even want to get up, I even urinated in bottles to keep from having to get up to use the toilet. So a little time passed, then things progressed to get worse. A large region, seeming to stem from my lumbar area, began to swell up. It was a good amount of swelling over a decently sized area. It wasnt too hardcore swelling, but it was definitely a good amount. Then here came the pain soon after. I spent a very great amount of time in the bed. Even while lying down, I had a very chronic pain that i could not shake away. It was almost like a throbbing type sensation, feeling chronic and deep. The best way I know how to describe it, it reminded me of the pain I felt when I fractured my fingers. It felt like a broken bone.
So im not sure how long it was, a few days maybe of being in bed, taking anti inflammatories, etc. I asked my nurse friend a few things for advice. But I tried to tough it out and take anti inflammatories i guess. Its kind of all a blur now so bear with me.
I got a hookup on a CT scan in the ER by said nurse friend, so I waited until the time came. I went up there eventually, after a great painful car ride. Got the CT scan and the doctor comes back and tells me that he sees just a "minor, very small" bulge in one of my discs. He didnt specify which disc, but ive been assuming its my l3l4. I know I know, I should've probably asked more details, but i was nieve. He just made it sound like it wasnt a big deal at all and just played it off as something minor. He literally told me to go home and do sit-ups and those sort of core strengthening workouts. I thought to myself, aint no way in god grace am I going to even attempt to try a sit up.
Part of me was glad, glad there was something at least there to serve as a logical reason why my back hurts. At the time I wasnt really educated at all on spinal health and what exactly the discs do, etc. I was ignorant to it all. But was glad I had a reason, but at the same time it was also like a "oh shoot oh shoot, this is not good red alert red alert" type of thinking. My body interpreted it as a dangerous thing even when I didnt exactly know what it meant at the time.
So anyway, he sent me on my way and gave me some muscle relaxers and some sort of pain meds I cant remember the name of. I had already been on muscle relaxers from my ER visit. Which those did seem to maybe help a little bit. I tried taking the pain meds and it just made me feel god awful sick. The whole room was spinning when I was on the pain stuff so I quickly stopped taking it. So I laid in bed in almost complete agonizing pain for a good while, days on end. It almost sort of came in "waves". Sometimes the pain was almost non existent. Then it would come and go. Seemed like the evenings were maybe the worst time, absolutely killer throbbing chronic pain in my lower back. It was almost unbearable but also at the same time manageable, as ive already experienced quite some physical pain in the past. I figured it would just be like my broken finger and I'll tough it out until it heals.
Here is a list of numerous symptoms I have experienced besides the pain:
(This is copied and pasted from my previous notes I prepared for a neurologist, so its not perfect)
12/1/2024 - Beginning of injury
ER visit -- EKG & Xray of my heart & blood test
12/12/2024 - ER visit for CT scan. Supposed minor bulge found on my lumbar spine
Had lots of swelling on right side of back at initial injury.
Symptoms during episode:
feeling hot/cold. Lightheaded, fast heart rate (or feeling like) shivering, nausea/feeling like passing out. Weird tingly feeling all over(very slight), slight loss of bladder control (only after emptying bladder) extreme cases would start to slightly lose sight(only once) ringing in ears. Loss of appetite. Heightened sensitivity to stimuli for days. Difficulty sleeping. Sweaty feet.
Near the beginning of May had another episode, went to er for same ekg, xray of heart and blood test. Was laying on side in bed when this happened.
Another previous smaller episode I was sitting on the toilet and almost passed out. Lost sight and hearing until I got up and went to lay down in bed, where it subsided. The tingly feeling as described i believe was just from almost passing out. I usually have never felt tingly all through this.
And the sleep, the sleep was terrible. I was actually awake for probably 3 days at a time just about, as it seemed. Only could manage short little burst here and there. Although im not sure, that might have just been a side effect from medication. But my eyes got so irritated even, and the skin around my eyes started to get red and irritated. It was frustrating being awake and not able to sleep.
Some of these symptoms were stronger than others, and some lasting only a small amount of time vs some lasting a little longer at a few days on end. I remember getting startled and scared if there was any sudden noises around, like if someone accidentally dropped something. It would jump scare the heck out of me. I believe my whole nervous system was just on extreme overdrive.
All through this, I started to make some lifestyle changes as I worked through the pain I had when laying down. It eventually subsided, the swelling went down, and i could experience no pain at all in bed. I eventually thought I was starting to get alot better. I started to try to get out of bed and walk ever so often at intervals throughout the day, but that would never last long. I got mostly feelings of dizziness and passing out when I stood up for too long. With just a small amount of pain, if any at all. I was more worried about passing out more than anything.
I changed my diet, went to anti inflammatory diet. I was eating very unhealthy before all of this.
I changed the way I got up out of bed, how i used the restroom. Etc. I made adjustments in alot of areas per say.
I do also remember having extremely tight hamstrings I guess? When I walked or stood up, my knees would be considerably bent. I feel like my body was just doing that as a defense mechanism. But my hamstrings were probably tense as well.
I eventually made it to an orthopedic, they did x rays of my back while I was standing up. For a few of them, they made me stretch out my back a little bit when I was standing up (like bending forward a little bit, or to the side, etc) I guess they just needed different angles of my spine. Doctor comes back and says the x rays are just fine. He offers me a steroid shot, I refused to take it. I just wanted to know what was wrong with me. We eventually made it to where he ordered an MRI.
The mri supposedly came back totally normal. The orthopedic just marked it up something along the lines of "strain of lumbar region, strain of tendons, fascia, and whatever else". Pretty much just marked it up as I strained myself. Report showed no abnormalities at all. They did the MRI with no contrast/no dye.
Then he offers me just another steroid shot, I refuse again, then he asked if I wanted to do PT. I figured why not, ill try it. So then I started to go to PT a few times a week for many months. I liked my PT but im not sure if he was the absolute best. Sometimes too he would be dealing with other people all at one time so it also felt like it wasnt too personalized, heavily focused on me. But at the same time i think he got the job done.
PT did seem to help I suppose. I definitely left some days hurting but the pain would fade away in bed eventually and fairly quick; where I still spent most of my time, in the bed. PT definitely gave me the confidence to make certain movements again, as up until then my back might as well had a board strapped to the back of it. I made sure to stay completely straight until PT. But my PT pushed me out of my comfort zone so I could make small twists, bends, etc. I pretty much gained some confidence back, as I have been really scared before this to move any certain way. We also worked alot on my core strength, stability, and all of that good stuff. Overall I think it helped but it only does so much.
Also a note here: during some PT sessions my therapist would work through some of my joints on my spine by digging his hands into my back. Not like digging, but ya know, he knew what he was doing. He would press on some of my joints to get them moving again and reduce stiffness. But, the point here: when he would press what he said would be around my l3l4, it felt like a broken bone to the touch. I had touched it a few times before myself and felt it. But when he did his work, I was like oh lawwwd this definitely feels pretty uncomfortable. It felt like a broken bone is the only way I know how to describe it. Maybe not a broken bone to the T, but the feeling is def similar. But im confident at least the x rays would have shown some sort of fractures, so at the same time i really dont think its a broken bone. It just feels like it. Here recently ive been trying to feel it more and it seems to be barely there anymore, almost like not even noticeable now when I press into it. Not sure how it would feel if I had a PT dig into my back a this point though. I used to feel it alot more during one of my exercises, one that's similar to a "cat cow". But like I said, seems to maybe be gone now? Idk.
Also another note: doing PT made me more aware of my muscles and what they are doing. So I noticed everytime when I wake up after sleeping, I always wake up with all of my muscles being tense. Then once I do PT stretches I can really feel the tightness. After stretches the tightness subsides. But it just comes back when I wake up the next day.
While I'm still in PT i went and seen a neurologist (where I showed him that list above).
He seemed pretty confident he could find out whats wrong with me, but at some times he seemed baffled at it and couldn't figure it out. They did the tests where they shocked me, testing my nerves, then they did the one with the needles where they test your muscles. Forgive me as I forget the name of these tests. Emg or something like that?
From that, the only thing they came back with is that the neuro said my tibial nerve is trapped. I also have a small amount of tinnitus in my right ear. (I think i have already had tinnitus from my drummer days in a rock band) ive been exposed to loud sounds before all this. They also did an MRI of my brain with the dye/contrast included. That was fun having that injected lol.
Anyway, so the only thing he really did from there was prescribe me some anti depressants or some sort of mood stabilizers. He has asked me if I had been depressed or anxious thought this and I said yes I was. Because I had already been both things even pre-injury. But the injury definitely didnt help my mood. I was super sad and depressed, being no longer able to do the things i love or be there with my daughter. Who wouldnt be depressed, I thought.
They also noticed my blood pressure sky rocketed when I would go from laying, sitting, to standing. So I guess I may have developed orthostatic hypotension. Perhaps from being in the bed too much I thought.
After this i went to a cardiologist, they did an ultrasound on my heart and a few other tests. All came back fine.
When I figured this out I told myself I need to get out of bed and walk and sit up more. So I did. And these symptoms of hypotension seemed to drift away. I would no longer experience them unless if I was in bed for way too long. I started to gradually get up out of bed slower as well to help ease down the symptoms. I dont really seem to have a problem with that now.
I refused to take the anti depressants, still just wanting to figure out what is wrong with me.
Some time went on, some months. I still just kept working through PT and doing my stretches religiously everyday. I had a moment where I got lazy and stopped doing them, then had another one of these smaller episodes as listed in the symptom list above. One i was in bed laying on my side and the other on the toilet. They were brief, short episodes, both around the same time frame. One i went to the ER again for as mentioned. Same tests, nothing wrong. But the symptoms that are similar to nervous system overdrive would linger for a good few days after.
I quickly got back to PT, and doing my stretches again, then got back in the steady stream i was in.
Over this amount of time, somewhere, I started to develop chronic pain when standing up or sitting for long periods of time. Usually it had just mostly been feeling nauseous and dizzy, feeling like i would pass out. With maybe just a lingering pain that would go away when I laid down in bed. So even til this day, I have spent the majority of my time in bed. Which ik, is not good at all. But I make sure to get up quite often to walk around, stretch. Sometimes I can manage sitting up for long periods for some days on end but it can get uncomfortable after awhile. Sometimes its unbearable then I have to lay back down. I winged off my anti inflammatory diet due to financial cutbacks but im trying to get back on it now. I definitely do eat alot more fruit and veggies and good food for my spine health. Drink bone broth and drink water like a fish as well.
But til this day, over a year later, im just having only pain and that is it. If I'm standing up, it can usually only be an hour, if that. Sometimes less. If im walking its more bearable and I feel like i can be up alot longer walking vs standing. Sitting down is a little more bearable than both, but maybe about the same as walking. I can only sit in my good chair, it has lumbar support and great cushions specifically for lumbar and bum support. But the bed is still my cage it feels like. It feels like im trapped and imprisoned by the bed. For a good while now, I just do my PT exercises i learned every single day religiously. And I go for walks multiple times a day outside in my fields. Then some days I can usually manage to sit in my chair at my desk for a good while. Sometimes I can sit for hours, sometimes not even an hour.
So let's get into the long term pain ive been having, and usually the only thing im ever experiencing since working through the toughest part of this.
The pain seems to gradually "creep" itself on. Like the longer im standing or walking, or sitting, the more it will creep. Then i will notice it after about 20-30 minutes. Sometimes it wont come noticeable until a whole hour some days. But within an hour usually, I can tell its coming. Its always obvious its coming on to me. Then, the pain will eventually just get worse, and worse. And worse, until I eventually have to just go and lay down for awhile. After laying down, the pain usually creeps away just as it had creeped onto me. It'll gradually fade away. Then I will get up again later on, just to repeat the same cycle.
Its like a really deep, aching type of feeling. Its like you worked really hard all day at a physical labor job, then you get off work to go sit on the couch and catch that relief. And your back will ache the rest of the day. The pain gets more intense the longer im up. But yeah, like a really deep ache embedded in my lumbar area. Here recently ive been thinking its just my muscles. I think they are tightening up, and just keep getting tighter the longer im up. Then they get relieved when I lay down. Lately ive been using a heating pad again (i used it for a little while when I initially injured myself). Heating pad works pretty well at easing the pain off faster and relaxing my muscles back to where they were. But man, it is an extremely debilitating chronic pain.
Recently I was washing dishes and got a small shock like sensation through my back for a brief moment. Not really any pain, just like a woahhh what was that, probably not good. I went and laid down in bed, started to think negative bad thoughts (like oh boy here we are again i messed up yet again) then I had the shivers again, but that was it. I got over it quickly and that was the only symptom. I think i sort of thought my way into that one. And now ive been getting a small amount of pain in bed. After giving up on doctors I decided im going to a "better" orthopedic whome I should be able to see soon. But now I have to use this heating pad again because now even in bed the pain will come. At the same time im not sure if its just because im spending more time in bed and my muscles getting stiff from that. So im trying to stay up alot more now, trying to push myself from what seems to be yet another setback in hoping for recovery. Im now discovering things like somatic therapy, neuroplastic pain, etc.
I really am starting to wonder if my nervous system is just stuck and is perceiving pain when nothing is actually wrong. Part of me thinks I just panicked and threw so much anxiety at myself and thought my brain into being in this situation. It was also a traumatic experience at the time of when the injury happened, and traumatic at the 2-3 smaller episodes I would have to follow. I have also experienced quite a bit of physical, and emotional trauma in the past in my life. But nothing has been as bad as this. I mean the injury definitely wasnt the most traumatic thing that happened to me, I have had worse. But it was still traumatizing.
I also seem to just not show any of the standard lumbar symptoms. I know people usually have sciatica, different types of pain different from mine, etc. I just dont fit the usual description of most people. I can tell some of these doctors have just been scratching their head at me, wondering what is even wrong with me. They seem baffled themselves. Luckily im going to a higher grade, more well known orthopedic here soon. The previous doctors were in smaller, rural areas. Not that big or well known. I will see if anything comes from it. I also just have a feeling that its going to be same song and dance and they arent going to find anything wrong with me.
I also want to try some sort of somatic therapy to try to rewire my brain and nervous system, if it is in fact "stuck" on overdrive. But the thing is, I can't even tell if it is stuck or not! I want to try it soon but I dont really have the funds for not even 1 session. Keep in mind this has totally messed up my life and I no longer have worked since the injury. I haven't even left the house in 6 months. It has impacted my life greatly. I dont have a great outlook on life anymore. Ive been depressed in a deep, deep hole. During this situation i have turned to god and that seems to be the only thing keeping me going, that and trying my hardest to raise and look after my daughter whome I can barely be there for now.
This whole thing just confuses the ever living heck out of me. Ive asked around, and done alot of extensive online research. Some of my symptoms of pain will show up on some things, but they never seem to exactly match all the way up. Theres a few things I share symptoms with, but yea, it's just like it never points exactly to one thing. Sort of just spread around or completely unheard of. I have yet to find even 1 person that has the same exact situation or experience as I do. I still feel like I messed something up in my back big time. I def dont want surgery but if it comes down to it ill have to figure that one out. But I really just want some input or thoughts from others. I haven't talked to a whole ton of people about this, just a few. And those few never have any idea what to think.
Just also searching mainly for someone who has had a similar experience, and how they worked through or overcame the situation. I am desperate at this point, and wiling to do almost anything to get back to where I can at least stay out of bed all day for good. As mentioned ive done alot of research, ive learned alot about the spine. Looked into spinal fusions, and all sorts of other types of spinal surgery. Looked at spinal conditions, injuries, etc.
A few notes I forgot to add: could it be possible they didnt catch anything extreme on MRI since I was laying down? There would have been no load on my spine and I was not in pain at the time.
I also think another possibility is my vertebrae shifted, but im sure they would have caught this on the x rays, CT, or mri right?