u/IPutTheCoatOnHer

Hi. This is probably weird, cringey, and lame but hear me out (if it's allowed). So I, 32F, live in New Jersey and would love to specifically meet and date an airline pilot.

I dated one for a little bit and it didn't work out on a personal level, and that's okay, however, I realized several things:

1. My personal love of aviation really enhanced things. I'm a big planespotter (which was so fun with him), I used to want to be a pilot myself, and following his flights was just so neat. One of the coolest and most intimate connections I'd ever felt with someone. Like, "I know who is flying that plane ☺️." I'd track the whole thing, takeoff to landing loving each check-in.

2. I'm a scientist and academic. I regularly travel the US and world for data, conferences, and field work. A pilot gets that. They live it, but differently.

3. I am super independent. I don't cling. I don't want clingy. (If the relationship is secure that is; we don't have to discuss my anxious attachment style when something is shaky and uncertain lol). But so... I like the built in separation. Seems odd, but I do! Not because I don't want to be close with someone. But I like my space. And a little longing makes the heart grow fonder. Not sure if I'd still feel this way if, for example, kids come down the line or what. But I can't anticipate the future. I know how I feel right now.

Overall, it just seems like a very compatible profession for me.

So I guess... TLDR; where does a girl in Jersey gotta go to/how can I meet some single and emotionally available male airline pilots?

I'm a woman about to turn 32 currently living in New Brunswick (work at Rutgers). Absolutely miserable 2.5 years of dating down here. Threw 29-31 down the drain. Makes me so upset. Especially considering I lived in LA prior (though I am from New Jersey originally). In LA, I at least had dates!

Willing to pack it all up when my lease ends in January 2027 with great financial strain to get closer to Manhattan via Newark or maybe Jersey City (still gotta get to Rutgers for work). Because most of the interesting guys on dating apps live in or near the city. NONE of them wanna actually date me even when they're interested. Even though I am more than willing to come into the city. I even have office space on the Upper West Side I can utilize and work there 1-2x a week. Still. No major bites.

But... what's your *actual* experience? Is the dating "better" in these areas? I know it's not ever gonna be considered good in this region, but remember where I am coming from. Do men from NYC even perceive women who live in New Jersey?

Would this be financially worth it?

Dating a great guy. He (32M) is definitely going to go bald on the top in a few years, currently represented by thinning hair. He keeps it long-ish and wavy to cover it up, but it's really kicking in. He is aware and seemingly is self-conscious about it which makes me sad. Brings it up every now and again. Currently does PRP treatments and Saw Palmetto to mitigate it... I know that's not nearly enough.

And I don't think he truly realizes *how* thin it is, but I can see when I sit on his lap and look down.

He is seemingly vehemently against Finasteride, allegedly not for the side effects but rather long term endocrine impacts. He thinks it's an archaic medication. And look. Understandable! As a woman, I personally don't want to mess with my hormones either with things like hormonal BC.

But he also expressed his "refusal" to go bald, so I just wanna help him achieve that... but he is not embracing the simple reality. It's the DHT. He's holding out for things like PP405 and even joked (not a joke) about going to Turkey one day, but the current solution at his current level is absolutely Finasteride+Minoxidil. I imagine he'd have great results on .5mg.

I don't know if I am necessarily looking for advice on how to convey that to him and I'd never make any demand/ask for him to alter his body medicinally, but... man. The only current solution are these meds. Once, I brought up a friend's positive results with HIMS (after his own prompting, I never bring up his hair loss myself) and he said he doesn't wanna do it *right now.* So... it seems he hasn't entirely ruled it out, but him waiting is doing him zero favors.

I sigh. As an aside, how come the field of hair loss is so stagnant? Is it really that hard to make these certain, vulnerable hair follicles not react to DHT as opposed to systemically lowering DHT?

Edit: Stunned by the scale of replies to this post, most of which are informative, positive, and supportive. Thousands of views! Whatever my guy ends up doing (I'm not pushing him), there's a lot of good stuff in here that will certainly help other folks make informed decisions.