Heart Attack at 51
Good afternoon, March 15th I had a Widowmaker heart attack, after being in Sedona hiking for a week. Doctor told me I won the lottery, and that they can't explain why I had the heart attack except for that it was my time. I was there for 3 days and literally every nurse that came in told me that I must have a purpose that I'm one of 10% that survive this heart attack. And if I would have been 30 minutes later I wouldn't be alive. And I know that they were being sweet and kind and trying to build me up, but all it has done is mind fuck me. Not only all of this, but my boyfriend of 10 years completely abandoned me during my healing process out of a month he was probably here for less than 5 days full. So I'm really struggling with my mental health, physically I'm great I'm back to bartending one night a week, I'm I'm walking my dogs about 14 miles a week when I get off my couch. What did everyone do, if you're mental health affected you like this. Like what's my purpose? Why did I live? It's hard to get off the couch, but my dogs give me a reason to get off the couch. My psychiatric nurse up to my medicine and I'm going to therapy again, I put that on pause while I was kind of just physically healing.