u/Idontwannabehere301

I am at my lowest point ever, I have never felt so alone and pathetic in my life. I cannot wait for this period to pass. I can't bear living like this for much longer. But one of the few joys I still have in life is this little silly creature, it truly is making everything about my life better. I have no one to talk to, the few friendships I have are dying out, yet this cat is always there for me acting affectionate and silly all the time. I wish it know how much I love it, how much of a difference it's making. I think its little brain is too stupid to understand though...

Am I fated to be alone forever? I don't think I can bear it for much longer. My social circle keeps shrinking, I don't know how to restart my social life and being in a place where I don't belong makes it even harder. I'm tired of these sleepless nights, tired of wondering if I'll die on a bed alone with no one around me when I'm old, tired of seeing people drift away from me. Loneliness is consuming my mind, I can't enjoy anything. Everything I do is just a distraction from these thoughts. I pretend not to care much or that I'm satisfied with my life, but I'm not, I feel miserable every single day, and I can't just accept my loneliness, to give up and accept loneliness feels more miserable than loneliness itself, but I'm stuck and don't know what to do.

I really want to be happy, but it never works out for me. I'll try to sleep now, goodnight.