u/Ijumponbabies

Beyond Tampere, in Finland, a forest consisting of pine, spruce and birch stretches north for hundreds of kilometers, until it meets with the icy tundra of the northern Scandinavian peninsula. Furthermore, the forest continues westward until it meets with the giant fiords of Norway. And it continues eastward across Siberia, Alaska and Canada. This is the Taiga forest. The largest continuous biome on the planet. Stretching across three continents and many thousands of kilometers. Amongst this endless expanse of trees exists a place like no other. A crater on top of a small mountain.

The following is my account of once when I visited the crater. I’ve tried to the best of my abilities to relay my harrowing experience as accurately as possible. But some of my recollections might not be the definitive truth. You might not believe some of the things I claim to have encountered. But that I cannot blame you for, as I hardly believe them myself. But I must tell the world what I saw and what happened to me. I am weak and old, and with only few years left in me, I fear no one will hear of it if I don’t tell it now. But please try your best to suspend your disbelief. For what I experienced in that crater defies our understanding of the world.

After a long, exhausting, and dangerous trek I finally reached the crater. It had taken several weeks to get there through the freezing cold Siberian wilderness. I had nearly gotten myself killed once in an encounter with a territorial moose. I knew it could reach negative fifty degrees in winter around these parts. But I had expected it to be at least 10 degrees when I started my hike in early May. But it was still snowing. I found out about this the day before starting my trip, so I had a chance to pack warmer clothes and equipment able to withstand low temperatures.

The purpose of my trip was to meet and evaluate the state of the indigenous peoples of the region and document the state of the local fauna and flora as there had been an accidental leakage of dangerous radioactive chemicals by a plane on the mountain. Few people had ever been to the region and so little was known about it. I would start by hiking across the mountain and examine the exposed area. And then I would make my way to the indigenous people, whom were on the opposite side of the mountain from where I would start my journey. Most of the chemicals had been dropped into the 4 km wide crater which lay just beyond the mountains summit. That was my primary spot for investigation.

It took 3 days to reach the crater from the base of the mountain. The snow was deep and only got deeper the higher I went. It was almost at my waist during the last stretch before reaching the summit. What made it worse were the trees. The space between them narrowed when I got higher in elevation. I had to shimmy my way between them. It slowed me down significantly and deprived me of much energy. When I reached the summit, the darkness of the oppressive forest gave way to the blue sky and the great crater right beyond the summit. I had been expecting a huge empty hole, but what I saw I still cannot believe.

I saw a place that cannot possibly exist this far north. At the center of the crater sat a huge turquoise lake. The rest of the crater was filled by luscious green trees and sprawling colorful pastures with grazing animals. I was in utter disbelief of what my eyes were beholding. But I did not have much time to contemplate this anomalous place from up here. I was freezing and I had to get down there. I readied my climbing gear and started descending.

As I reached the bottom, the humid and warm air came as a great surprise. It must have been at least 30 degrees. I took off my large winter coat and forced it into my backpack, much against the will of both. I decided I’d head to the lake first to find out if the water was contaminated. I pulled out my pen and notebook and sketched out my surroundings on the way to the lake. From the trees hung plenty of juicy fruits of all colors and sizes. Only an hour ago I had been standing in the freezing cold with snow to my waist, and now I was in what reminded me of the Amazonas. This place was a complete contradiction of everything I had learned about the world. This place went against all known science. But it existed, nonetheless. I was there, and it was real.

Vines, small trees and shrubs filled the understory, while green, wet leaves and mosses covered the ground. I could hear fallen fruits squash beneath my feet as I stepped on them. Small colorful frogs were leaping between plants, making the leaves look like a rainbow in constant motion. The dense foliage made it difficult to traverse. Like desperate hands, the vines and branches were reaching for me. The ground was wet and marshy. My feet fell through the mushy ground with every step. The hike to the lake was not much easier than the hike on the mountain. Only this one was warmer. The insects there had never heard of fear. Treating my skin like a busy hotel.

On a branch a bird was flapping its wings around violently. It was making screeching noises like it was in pain. It had a long, thin, light green tail reminiscent of a leaf. Otherwise, the bird was black. At first, I was unable to understand what was causing it so much stress or pain. But I realized that it was unable to move. As if its legs were stuck to the branch. In vain it continued its violent thrashing and screeching. I could do nothing but keep on moving.

As I was gazing up at the canopy, I noticed that some trees were stuck together. Branches from trees were buried into other trees. In one instance it seemed that one tree had sprouted out of another tree, and the one that had sprouted was not fully grown yet. At the top of the trunk of the big tree, right below the crown was where the two trees merged. The second tree’s crown had not fully developed yet. But the most perplexing part was the roots of the tree. The roots were not touching the ground. They were hanging about a meter from it with a few of the longer roots managing to touch the ground. The tree was indeed growing out of the other tree. I knew not what to make of this. I drew it down in my notebook. The only explanation I could come up with was that this was just another of nature’s quirks. We always attempt to place species and nature into nice little boxes, but reality is rarely that simple. Nature does not abide by our rules of order. Nature is nature, and nature is not mathematics. Nature is inherently disorder. And nature is our mother. So, who are we to decide what is possible and what is not in this world we inhabit?

I finally reached the lake and sat down by the water. As in the forest, life was sprawling here too. Animals of every size were drinking from the water. Even though I felt apprehensive, I could not help but admire it. The beauty of this heavenly, but strange place was mesmerizing. My worries of life at home began to fade. So did the memories of the long and treacherous journey. For a while I sat there. Gazing out across the lake in all its beauty and serenity. Was this paradise? Or just a trap; attempting to lure me in with a false sense of security? I could barely stand the heat anymore: A very unexpected turn of events on my journey.

Instead of studying the area or the water I took off my shoes and socks to dip my feet in it. Oh, how warm it was. To the ones who are reading this, I advise you not to judge my actions too harshly. I can clearly see in hindsight that emerging myself in mysterious waters of a mysterious place was quite irrational. But I am certain that anyone, even a man of science such as myself would be woven into foolishness by this illogical place.

After resting my feet in the water for a bit, I thought of taking a swim, and so I did. I was an avid swimmer, so the distance wasn’t a concern to me. It was pleasant across the gentle water. When I reached the other side, I crawled up on the shore to rest in the warm rays of the sun. After fifteen minutes or so, gentle trudges awoke me from my brief slumber. I sat up looking for the source of the sound. And there it was.

Only about five meters away from me, stood a deer, calmly eating from a bush. I had never experienced such a close encounter with one before. They tended to sprint away the moment they noticed my mere presence. But this one did not mind me at all. After the initial surprise of meeting this unbothered fellow had worn off, I knew I had to study it. That was one of the reasons I was here after all. It is one thing to look at pictures of such beautiful animals, but to be able to look at them up closely, while they are still alive and breathing is a very different thing.

I stood up slowly and approached it with great hesitation. Even though it was close, I was still anticipating it to run away from me by the slightest movement. It had light brown fur. But with a strange hue of green. When I was close enough, I slowly laid my palm on its back and gently stroked its fur. It didn’t seem to mind. But the fur didn’t have the texture I had expected. It felt more like grass. Grass? I looked over at its antlers. They weren’t whitish as expected. They were dark brown and with a rough texture. At the top of the left antler a leaf was hanging.

My overconfidence took over. I grabbed the leaf, thinking it might have gotten entangled with the antler. I pulled slowly, but it didn’t budge. So, I pulled hard and it snapped off. In an instant, the deer yelped loudly and ran away. I found it a bit peculiar that a leaf had been the last straw for the deer. But after all, they are prey and easily feel threatened or scared. What concerned me more was the texture of the fur. I had touched deer pelt before in an examination room and this felt noticeably different.

Now that I was standing on the other side of the lake, I looked around. I approached a tree. It looked just like the trees of a tropical rainforest. I went up close to the tree trunk, ripped off a small bit of bark on the tree and studied it. It looked like the bark on any tree in a rainforest. Looking back at the tree, I saw a line of crimson red ants marching up the trunk. They were carrying smaller twigs and pieces of leaves. A small group of ants were even carrying a dead caterpillar. I looked up along the tree to locate their colony. They were all marching into an oval shaped hole in the tree. The hole reminded me of something. But I couldn’t put my finger on what.

As I was looking up, a fruit fell from the tree and landed on my head. I picked up the fruit from the ground. It was large. I could barely fit it in my hand. It had an odd vibrant color. It was kind of purple, but also kind of yellow, and kind of green. The colors meshed in such a peculiar way. I couldn’t tell when one color transitioned into another. It seemed as if the fruit was glowing. The smell of it was odd. So many familiar smells made the combined smell unfamiliar. I took a bite. I cannot tell you why. For some unexplainable reason I felt that I had to. Like my life depended on this one bite. Like if I didn’t, rapture would be upon me. The taste was unlike anything I’ve ever tasted before or since. An explosion of tastes. A new sensation. I could see something more.

The great mountains! The great seas! The great infinity beyond! Colors so vibrant! Worlds so vast! And I had traveled them all! I see the past, the present, and the future all at once! HELL, AND HEAVEN! THE EARTH IS OPENING UP TO ME! THE SPACES IN BETWEEN! THE THINGS WE CAN’T SEE! THE THINGS WE CAN’T BE! IT’S ALL TRUE! IT’S ALL REAL! I WAS THERE! I AM HERE! AND I WILL BE THERE AGAIN SOON ENOUGH!

How many had I eaten? Not enough! I don’t know. One? Ten? A thousand? I couldn’t tell you. But I knew I had to get more. I climbed up the tree and sat up on a branch. For a moment I looked out across the forest. The trees felt alive. But more so than trees normally do. At the time I was unable to explain it. I could only feel it. I could feel the trees breathing as if a huge set of lungs were inside the trunks. But the trees were linked. Everything here was linked. Linked to something greater. Like a colony of ants. Working together as one mass of beings for the greater benefit of the species and not the individual trees. They seemed to be doing well considering they were in the middle of one of coldest places on the planet. I thought the abundance of fruits must have been meant as a warm welcome and sign of respect from the forest.

I reached for another fruit, and as I did, I noticed my hands were full of small little holes. When did this happen? My arms as well! I looked closer. Small blades of grass! They were peeking out from the holes. One blade was big enough so that I could pinch it between my thumb and index finger. I pulled it out. My body cringed from the pain. It felt like a small cut from a knife. A few drops of blood emerged from the hole and rolled down my upper arm. I was frightened by the grass seemingly growing out of my skin, but nonetheless my foggy consciousness thought it wise to eat another fruit.

For a second before taking a bite I looked to my right, and to my surprise I was right next to the hole where the ants had their colony. Not far above the hole was a set of smaller holes. No, they weren’t holes. They were more like small bulges in the wood. But they were moving. The bulges were moving. At the center of each bulge was a small dark circle. I was now certain that the dark circles were moving. They were pointing straight at me. They were eyes. Human eyes in the wood! The tree had eyes! The hole beneath them was a mouth. This was a human face!

I have never been so sure of anything in my life. The spark in the eyes of a human cannot be replicated. That spark cannot exist without a soul. There was a human soul in that tree. I was never susceptible to the superstitious stories of simple folk. Neither am I now. Some might look at my account and brush it off as just that. But I know what I saw. I know that the tree harbored a man and the man harbored a tree. I know it to be of fact. His face had an expression of great despair. The kind of face one might make as a final emotion before succumbing to a fate most horrible. I gazed deep into his dark somber eyes. They were so… black. But, yet so alive, and so beautiful. The blackness was twinkling. Like a clear moonless night full of stars. I felt an urge: “Hello?”. The word burst out of me, like a balloon with too much air inside. I can’t recall if I was expecting a reply. In an instant I drowned in those beautiful eyes.

Black. Floating forever in the endless expanse of blackness amongst the twinkling stars so bright. For eons I floated. Entangled with the darkness. Vines entwined with my being. Roots penetrating my skin. I: One with the dark. It: One with me. Interchangeable. One mass of beings. Then, a voice echoed through the space. Voice wasn’t heard it was merely felt. Just vibrations. “Let it go. Release it from your palm.” I have nothing to let go of. “Release it now, and fall. The time is nigh.” Fingers. I felt fingers. My fingers! They were gripping. They were gripping tight. An object in my hand. “Rest your fingers. Let it fall and open your eyes!” For eons my fingers slowly released their grip despite my retaliation.

“OPEN YOUR EYES!”

The fruit I’d held in my hand fell to the ground. I couldn’t move. My right arm was stuck. I looked at it. It could hardly be called an arm anymore. Vines and branches curled around it. I could feel roots inside my arm. They were digging deep. I threw up from the sight. I started pulling on of the roots. The pain was unbearable. The tree seemed to curl in agony as well. More of the root started to reveal itself as I pulled. It was dripping with blood. It was working. After what felt like an eternity of misery and pain, the root was ripped from my arm. It was squirming like a snake after being caught. I threw it away in disgust. Blood poured. The other vines loosened their grip. But more roots still penetrated my arm.

I pulled on another one. Blood was seeping from the exposed hole. And as this root gave up on its grip, another pulse of blood sprang outwards. I lost my balance on the branch I was sitting on and fell. The vines and roots couldn’t bear the weight of my entire body. My hand and forearm were still entangled and penetrated by roots. In the instant I fell, my forearm dislocated from my elbow before my tendons snapped. My flesh and skin bore my entire weight for a second before they ripped apart at the elbow. I landed hard on the ground.

The excessive blood loss somehow didn’t kill me. I got to my senses, and I started running, with no direction in mind. For hours I ran. Naked and with only one arm. I ran until I reached the ridge of the crater. The ridge was way too tall for me to even consider climbing it in this condition. I ran along the base of the ridge until I found a spot where the rocky ridge had been reduced to a hill that was manageable to climb. I got to the other side. What felt like a day must have been months. Because all signs of snow were gone. The temperature must have been above 15 degrees.

I had never in my life been so excited to see the taiga forest. I descended the mountain as fast as I could. The next couple of days were a time of terror. I walked with almost no breaks. Only stopping to drink from the streams flowing down the mountain. The nights were the hardest. The forest became freezing cold when the sun went down. The silence kept me from relaxing. I was on high alert for any nocturnal animals that might’ve considered me as a late-night snack. I somehow reached the base of the mountain. But I couldn’t stop there. I knew I had to continue onwards.

I followed one of the streams thinking that if I walked for long enough, I would surely come across some kind of civilization at some point. And finally, I did. The sun had gone down, and in the distance, I saw lights. I started running. It was a small village. I collapsed in front of an old woman sitting outside of a house. Begging for help, begging for food. The woman helped me up from the ground. This was the indigenous people I were supposed to meet. The people I had studied for years. She laid me on a bed in her house.

The next day, I tried telling her what had happened to me. From the trek up the mountain, to the crater, to her house. But as soon as I mentioned the crater she hushed me. I was greatly confused, and for a moment we only stared at each other. In silence, she poured me a cup of tea on the bedside table, and when giving it to me she simply said, “Try not to dwell on it”, before leaving the room. I stayed there for a month before a rescue team consisting of Finns and Russians came in a worn military truck for rough terrain to get me home. Suffice to say no one from the rescue team believed my account.

During the following years, a dozen or so researchers flew over and around the mountain but could find neither the rainforest nor the crater itself. No one ever tried to do a proper expedition on foot. I blame their inability to locate the crater on a lack of dedication and care. If they would just believe me, they’d already sent an army out there to find it. I refuse to believe that I made it all up in my head during a bout of hypothermia, as my doctors will try and have me believe.

But I am still perplexed at how it could even exist. I wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t let go of that fruit. Would I ever have left? Would I be standing there to this day? Consumed by the tree? One with the environment? I don’t know. It haunts me. Did the tree save me? Or had it shunned me? Still, a part of me wants to go back. I feel it beckoning me, to one day return. I see those massive black eyes of stars every time I go to sleep. Maybe it’s where I belong? The thought haunts me. But of one thing I am certain. This planet is hiding secrets that we simply cannot comprehend. There are worlds out there that we know nothing of. Whole ecosystems of organisms, more complex than anything we can conjure up in our minds. We will know nothing of these places until the end of time. And maybe that’s for the better. As the lady said, it’s best not to dwell on it. Maybe there are things we’re better off never knowing.

(This is one of the first stories I've ever written, so I'm pretty new to this. Hope you guys like it, and I would love any kind of feedback)

If only I could love you again