u/Ill-Point-4995

M 16, identifies as F because I'm fucking stupid. I am quite literally the worst person I know. Here's a long list of things I want to change about myself:

• Using social media outside of Meta's socials - yes, that IS a problem. Since 2021, social media has turned me chronically online. I am now a woke, heretic (went from Christianity straight into Atheism), introverted idiot who prioritizes online peers over family, to the point where I am now actually DATING online. Maybe I need to leave the part of socials I'm currently in, maybe socials as a whole, no clue.
• Being trans and lesbian - yeah, yeah, whatever. I don't want to identify as female. It has ruined my mental well-being - my dysphoria makes me cringe every time I look in the mirror, I have dreams of mutilating myself to become a "woman", etc. That kinda shit. Worst part? ONLY ONE PERSON IRL KNOWS, AND THEY'RE FROM SCHOOL.
• Not handling criticism - every single damn time I get criticized for ANYTHING, even if it's the most constructive criticism EVER, I throw a tantrum. I'M FUCKING 16 and I still do throw tantrums. And every time afterwards, I blame myself entirely and talk shit about myself. I don't know why's that. Maybe I just have an ego that barely fits within me.
• Weird interests - I wish I were interested in shit normal people are interested in. Football, history, geopolitics, whatever - as long as it's not shitty Total Drama ripoffs made by logo kids, poorly made idents from the 3rd world and furry subculture.
• Staying up late - yes, it is a VERY large problem. It's sort of connected to the first point, but whatever. Shit's been so bad I go to sleep at 12-1 AM. And then I often take naps in daytime.
• Laziness - I barely do my homework anymore, I don't help my parents out at all, I don't even keep my room clean anymore. I am just a lazy, pitiful mess.
• Obsession with music - I listen to music 5 hours a day. 5 GODDAMN HOURS. And today my sister told me I listen to it so loud she can hear it through my headphones. Guess what my dumbass did? Exactly - threw a tantrum like a baby. It's not even good music, either - divorced dad music, widowed grandpa music, emo kid music and shitty rap for shitty people.
• Oversharing and saying too much - mostly self-explanatory. But sometimes it gets to the point where I get so ANGRY at someone that I just say what I think of them without thinking about their reaction. This is a problem I mainly have with my dad. I once went so harsh on him that I called him "toxically masculine" over him fake-crying. All because I can't keep my emotions to myself because I'm a whiny brat.
• Getting angry at the SMALLEST things - this is connected to the 3rd and 8th point. I can get angry over shit like losing at a game. But again, this is also mainly a "my dad" problem. I hate it when he's SINGING, I hate it when he's FAKE CRYING, I hate it when he's making FUNNY VOICES, which I even do MYSELF. I'm a fucking hypocrite.
• Being woke - I'm a leftist. Even worse, I'm a lib-left. I'm absolutely not proud of it and I want my political views to alter so that I can have a normal person's sense of reality.

Any comment saying anything of these is "okay" or "normal" will be, unfortunately, not taken into consideration. I want all of these problems fixed ASAP so that I can finally be a normal, healthy boy.

Also do NOT take any mental illnesses or neurodivergencies into consideration. I've met lots of autistic people and lots of them did NOT have any of these problems.