I had a bad trip on DMT, 9 months later I had my first anxiety attack
Hey peeps, i want to get something of my chest, and maybe someone can relate or give some advice.
I had my first DMT trip in December 2025. I was in a bad setting and had a bad experience. Thought I was dead and that the “space” I uwas in is the space between life and death. While coming down I freaked out, destroyed the place of the friend I was tripping with, went to my bike in socks, leggings and a T-Shirt, biked to my place and asked my girlfriend if she is real. I count it as a near death experience and a panic attack after.
My life after that was normal, just that I had a strange depersonalised feeling when I smoked some weed.
In June i had another bad Trip on LSD and Weed. I was at a festival, laying in my tent with the feeling of the DMT world sucking me in, if i fall asleep. Went on for about 3-4 hours and my GF had to comfort me the whole time.
Life went on normally after that, till August. One night i was lying in bed, unable to sleep (no drungs where involved). I kinda lost the concept of time and was thinking about death. It was the thought that I will die that really fucked with me. Without the concept of time it felt so acute. Like there will be the time I will die, but it felt like I am feeling the suffering of dying in this moment. After that I depersonalised hard. I hardly was able to go to work, but did it anyway (i am a Social Worker in a youth shelter, had to do nightshifts, it really wrecked me). Since that happened I think about death a lot, and it always gives me anxiety. I am more fearful now, because I don’t want to die. But this fear and the anxiety it comes with is stopping me from living the way I want to.
Somedays its better and I can enjoy my life and feel pretty normal, but on other days, especially if the last few days were stressful, the depersonalisation creeps back in. And I start to think about death. And this negative feelings are coming back.
After this moment in August I made some decisions for my life. I stoped doing drugs completely, not even caffeine. I stoped eating meat (I have fear of dying, and eating dead animals feels hypocritical in this situation), i talked to a lot of friends (even some in the field of psychology) and it helped me a lot. I think i am on a good way back to jmy old self. But its hard. I was wondering if someone has some advice for me. Would love to hear your opinion. And you can ask me anything. I’ll try to answer it the best i can. English isn’t my first language, so please excuse my mistakes :)