HELP! Got a scholarship offer from UK private school, should I leave or stay?
I'm currently in my last year of International GCSE study in (I guess I can not mention the specific country?), with an intended major in Philosophy (This is already pretty hard for me as I am not from those big cities). As one of the top A* students with full scholarship in my school ever since my entry, I am not quite satisfied with it now. My school attached excessive importance, as well as "brainwashing" to potential Oxbridge students for its reputation. Having seen how my friends from 12 grade are suffering from these expectations made me genuinely worried about my own future.
When it comes to A Level course selections, I am unable to choose history, English literature due to certain regional and school restrictions! This means I have to pay a fortune to find a teacher outside my school. Moreover, constant leaving and changing of teachers Every semester; strict school rules that restricts teachers' creative teaching and pervasive cynical attitudes among students have become so obvious and disturbing that I even start to feel hopeless with the current school. Thus, I applied to 2 private schools (behind my current school's back, of course) in the UK for my A Level study, with the hope of escaping such depressing environment and receiving a more authentic education in an immersive environment.
However, after I received my scholarship offer, I hesitated. It seems that my reasons of leaving are quite passive, but not active. I was able to list what is wrong with the current environment, but not reasons to go. Also, the closer I am to the stage of final decision, the more I feel I can hardly leave it all. After all, what makes this school so beautiful is its people, and the fear of losing connections with my friends strengthens everyday. I have good relationships to many of my teachers, as I was surprised to find out that they are very patient to listen to my passion for philosophy, as well as my own speculations and learnings in this field. This is truly touching and provides a special connection between us. It is always a comfort that even if my friends and families have no interest in philosophy, there are always people I can turn to. Ironically, I have met an older student here who also enjoys philosophy right before I received my offer, which constantly tells me the possibilities here.
Of course, there are other worries (eg. fitting in, making friends, boarding pressure...), bonds, and so much things I may be reluctant to leave, but I am aware of such cost of becoming an individual. The familiarity with the current school for me is so safe and warm, but I cannot just ignore the elephant in the room! And the solitude and independence I could get in UK private school is also an desirable yet uncertain attraction to me. I am unsure if I could create such bonds in the new environment as an international student, an "outsider"; I am also looking for any active reasons of "going" rather than "leaving" before the ddl of final decision. I did not tell any one in my school, as the school will definitely try to let me stay to generate better results, and my friends could be heartbroken with the news. Should I make this leap towards the unknown or stay with what I am having now?
If you have finished these, thank you so much for your patience. And I would love to hear about your opinions on this, or experience in UK private schools. Thanks in advance!