Should I study Civil Engineering? Conflicted
Sry, this might turn into a long post as I may or may not need a place to dump my thoughts. English is not first language, sry ahh.
For context, I am 27 years old. I already have an undergrad degree in International Business and I just completed my Masters Degree in a similiar field, focused on economics and management.
Adding to that, I have been trying to find a job for the last four to five months, which led to two interviews but essentially no successfull job offer so far. I am not particulary discoureged and am sure, if I put more time and wrote more applications, I will be able to find a job.
However, since starting my undergrad studies 7 years ago I kept thinking about pursuing STEM. The thing is, in my teens and early 20s I was very VERY heavily intimidated by math and physics. I always found these subjects interesting but I guess bc of my mediocre performance in high school I always felt like I was never good enough to actually study smth STEM related. If that makes sense. So, I took on a business major. But I always deeply admired people studying chemistry, physics, math, engineering etc. I guess now that I matured, I keep thinking about *what if I just studied engineering sooner*
Now, I am in a position rn where I can go back to uni and start another undergrad in civil engineering. But the thing is, I am scared. Mad scared. I think about starting the studies and my stomach twists into thousend knots. I keep thinking about *what if I fail* and how difficult math, mechanics and physics etc. might be and my throat goes dry. I am SCARED. I know this degree comes with a lot of work, I am not underestimating it. If anything, I am intimidated by it. But I also really respect and admire it. And idk I am just thinking *could* I do it?
I have some friends who are laughing or rather discouraging me from the idea of me starting another study program, nonethless it being civil engineering. Saying that it wont add anything to my resume, and will only make me fall more behind in the job market. Since I could use the time better and do networking and get actual work experience. And since I am 27 idk if I should comit to studying minimum another 4 years, which -if I even succeed in getting that degree- will make me start job hunting with (earliest) 31, 32 even. Which i guess might put me at a more disadvantage? ANd this is the thing, that actually bugs me, bc as my friends, why do you think I could not do it? A part of me just wants to start studying engineering and only tell them what I did once I got the degree, yk? But I am also really affected by what they are saying and see the point regarding the job.
Since my family is kinda academic, I am lucky that they are willing to put up with me pursuing another degree, which gives me some comfort.
But still, I cant shake the thought of *what will others (my friends) think of me pursuing another degree* and *will i be too old to start working*
Sry, I had to get this off my chest, thank you for reading.