u/Important_Waltz_5974

So I am embarrassed to say I am struggling heavily with the workload of just 5 subjects (4x 1/2 and 1x 3/4), they're not even that hard but because of stress, fear and overthinking, I've gotten behind in them in terms of workload. I had 6 subjects but I dropped one earlier without a replacement.

I am kind of expected to take on a 6th subject for Unit 2, so should I do that to forcefully 'improve' my discipline or convince my coordinators to remain with 5 so that I could allocate my resources on the remaining subjects to get a higher study score? I do know doing 5 is allowed as per VCAA rules but it might make me lazier.

When it comes to focus, I do focus a bit better in class (though dependent on the subject) compared to in the library during free periods but I could have better prep for uni by having more self-study experience with 5 subjects instead of 6.

Genuinely I wish I could focus on homework for just ~2 hours after school during weekdays then play games, work, visit my friends, travel across Melbourne, maybe revive my dead projects right after.

but I have mediocre focus and I have to rely on binging weekends (where I start my day with a reset dopamine) to catch up with my weekday procrastination

BY THE WAY I HAVE TRIED SO MANY TRICKS TO FOCUS

- "just lock your phone up bro"-> use laptop / PC to procrastinate

- "just get your books and open up the questions" -> *tenses up in fear when seeing question 1, mind goes blank and opens social media right after*

- "delete/block social media man it's not good for your health" -> absolutely cannot resist undoing the blocking and opening up the web version of it and procrastinate

- "use a study timer" -> well this PARTIALLY worked for easy stuff but in a bad mood I can't really get any headway in my work so :/

I've asked my therapist to get me an ADHD diagnosis but idk man it seems that shes trying to dodge giving me it (not tested yet) but maybe it'll work if I beg her really badly for her to do it

It's frustrating because I have experience having high workloads and parents with high expectations all the way back from year 6 and I'm getting beaten by people who chilled through most of school and 'locked in' pretty recently.

I've heard people who are able to play games a lot because they finish their work early, maybe in class. They are able to live a really fun life, go to parties, scroll on TikTok without setting their focus back. I know I shouldn't compare to them but I really really really wanna have their life.

I feel like I know what I should do for school to succeed really well but atm procrastination ensures that I don't do it all

for the people that say people who procrastinate and get bad marks are *lazy*, you're wrong. The amount of emotional pain and suffering I had trying to focus on my work probably took months, if not years out of my lifespan and i probably spent more time on hw than a lot of the high scoring ppl here if distractions were included

While of course people have highs and lows, my 'highs' in focus barely keep me afloat while my 'lows' set me back a week or two in content. How do I solve this?