[NJ] Is my office an HR nightmare?
Throw away account:
I’m 31F and have been at my company for almost 3 years. About 8 months ago, I switched departments for a higher title and small pay raise, and honestly, it’s been one of the worst decisions I could’ve made.
Before I took the job, I was told I’d have all these opportunities for growth, that my supervisor would really mentor me, and that I’d be learning a lot more. None of that happened. For months, I basically came into the office just to answer emails and be extra coverage. When I asked for more training or responsibility, I was told it wasn’t the right time because things were too busy. Then when I made a small mistake, I was told I should’ve been seeking out training myself and asking more questions, even though there was never any real plan in place to train me from the start.
At this point, I’ve learned most things by being thrown into them and figuring it out on my own. It really feels like this department just wasn’t used to bringing in someone new, and there’s a lot of mistrust and “if I want it done right, I’ll do it myself” energy.
What makes it worse is that I know I’m a good worker. My previous department was genuinely upset to lose me, and they still remind me of that. I only left because there was no room to move up there.
On top of everything else, there are basically no boundaries. I constantly get emails and messages when I’m off, sick, at lunch, or over the weekend. I know I technically don’t have to respond, but it’s still exhausting. I was actually tracked down on my lunch in the building to speak about work.
There’s also a clear double standard when it comes to flexibility. Most of my coworkers have young kids, and almost every Friday or holiday weekend, I’m left with little to no coverage while others leave early, come in late, or work remote more often because of childcare. Meanwhile, when I request time off, it feels like I get met with passive-aggressive comments, delays, or guilt.
One thing that especially bothered me was when I texted for clarification about time off, and that message got screenshotted, sent to another manager, and then sent back to me in a work chat. It felt incredibly unprofessional and honestly just weird.
Overall, the office culture is negative, draining, and unprofessional. There’s constant tension, poor communication, lack of respect, and it’s making me miserable.
I feel burnt out, bitter, and completely stuck. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I genuinely don’t know if this is normal workplace frustration or if this job is just as toxic as it feels. I sought out advice at work and they were truly no help. They recommended speaking to my manager directly and I just don’t think that’s a good idea. They can be volatile.
Honestly.. what do I do? I want to leave but there’s basically no one hiring in my line of work. I have applied for jobs outside of my current line of work but my guess is I don’t have enough experience. I’m on the verge of a breakdown.