u/ImpressiveGrass7832

Crits: 3444, 963 - first time going over 2500 so I suppose let me know if this is enough, or if you need another crit.

TW if you need them for >!alcoholism, addiction, drug use !<

Writing in this way is not really in my wheelhouse, but it's useful to push comfort zones. Last time I wrote something serious, I had some (incredibly useful) strongly worded feedback about tone, so I guess I'm wondering - warmer, colder?

Maybe some guiding questions:

- Is there some intent evident in this piece?

- If so, does it come across at least somewhat, what the specific idea I am trying to convey is?

That said open to any/all feedback, especially to improve readability. Thank you.

(I suppose also, as usual, blunt brutality is fine - i can take it lol, I doubt i'll hear something new. would appreciate at least somewhat engaging with the text a bit if possible though)

DOCUMENT LINK [2856]

Crit 1 2327

Crit 2 313

This thing is really weird and I'm not sure what to do with it. I'm hoping submitting for feedback might give me some ideas, especially how to end it properly. I guess also a medal to anyone who recognizes who I'm trying to imitate, a bit (and I'll happily take notes on how to do that better too).

Maybe some guiding questions (but happy to take notes on anything):

- Is it readable?

- Is it clear who's speaking when?

- Any hints of themes come through? Or is it just complete style (if that) over substance tosh

Thanks in advance, always appreciate all feedback.

DOCUMENT LINK [2140]