So what now???
I am 49. Married for 25, two daughter 13 and 16. I am from Brazil but live in The Netherlands for the last 10 years. Last Jan 15 had pain in my chest and ignored, just got my monster drink and Marlboro and after went to sleep. 16 Jan, all day ok. At night, at my bed, felt pain inside both arms and my chest. Went to a hot shower, then had my monster drink and Marlboro again. Crazy, yeah?
Saturday Jan 17, early in the mornin getting ready to go to the church, was feeling kind of reminiscent pain and thought, no, this is not right... something might be wrong. Went to hospital. Shared my pain in chest and arms. Got an eltrocardio exam and they said, ops, something looks weird. Blood exam. Then the first punch in my face. Sir, you had an HA and might be having it for couple days because your Tropanine is at 18.000. She said, I dont understand how you are here now, talking with me. They took me to intensive care and there stayed for 2 night, then on Monday went to a room and started exams.
First was an echo where the lady saidd that my FE, fraction ejection, was in 52%, which was the lower, lower limit. Normal, I understood is 55-75%. She mentioned that after a tropanine in 18.000, she was impressed, positively. At least that, because when at intensive care, a cardio vet, yes he might be a vet, told me that I should have had damage severally my heart.... that i might have killed 50% of my heart.
TUE 20th did a cateterism adn the bomb.... 3 places with plaques in a level that was not wise to put stents. Sorry Sir., you will need to do a open chest surgery and 3 bypass. Got shoked... and would still need to wait until the next Monday 26th to do it. The whole week waiting was tought. They did want to explain to me everything that would be done, but I preferred not knowing ANYTHING. I was only reading the bible trying to find peace in it.
Was tought. Still remember the morning of 26th, shaving my chest... I was the first in the morning to have the surgery. Thanks God all went well. They got a vein from my right leg and an artery from my chest. They were very happy with the results and how all happened. Just after the surgery I got shoked again to know that my heart was stooped by 4, 5 hours, extra corporeal circulation, etc.
31st Jan I left the hospital. Then at home the coin started drooping... WTF just happened to to me in the last 14 days??? Right now my family could be taking decisions if they will stay here or not, I already would have been buried. What happened??? How??? Ok, I was never the sports guy, smoking, alcohol more than I should, for sure, did try to balance with better food and do know people who does 10x worst than me, WTF???
Then I found out the Lpa. Is a lipoprotein that we all have and it is genetic. You have since you born and that's is it. Ideal <70. Mine 167!!! Lpa 167 I couldn't have lived my life with the LDL around 2, like I always did. With this level of Lpa I should have had LDL 0.5....
Never heard before about this Lpa. Impressively neither my GP.... how can that be??? Ok, my bad habits simply accelerated the plaques bulding. But with this Lpa, I was building up plaques, literally since I was born.
Now, close to 4 months from the surgery, I am experiencing a deep depression. A feeling of emptiness, don't want to get out my bed, cannot relax my mind. My mind doesn't stop, thoughts that doesn't stop to torture. I feel like I want to sell everything, house, car, hobbies... don't want anymore anything material... HAving difficult to concentrate in my work.... What am I doing here? Should I leave my job, sell everything and go back "home"? Should I just go back and spend more time while my parents are here? How will be from now on? WTF is this stuff that the bypass may have problem in 10 years from now? Why am I feeling this sadness?
Anyway, I am trying to do the basic to keep working... going now to the third week of physio cardio, which I hate.... Trying to do not take any decision for now. I understood that it can take up to 1 year to get back my mind. I truly hope that with this new medication that i will start this week, I improve. I was taking venloflaxine but too tough for me.... will try Brintelix. Besides that I am trying to take care as I never did to my spiritual side, of course zero smoking, energy drink, alcohol e feel other things. Eating flexseed, shia and psyllium husk every day + Oat with soya yogurts, rice, beans, lentil and lot of water.... I spend the day drinking war water. Between 2-3 lts.
Last blood exams my LDL was 0.7... my GP said he never saw such low LDL exam... Until there is a medication to reduce Lpa, the only thing I can do is keep LDL as low as possible to do not build plaques again, and as AA says..... live one day each day...
If anyone reading this have been through similar experience and feeling, I would love to hear how are you doing? did you felt something similar?
I don't know even if made any sense what I wrote.... feeling very confusion in my thoughts....
take care you all.