I am so annoyed with the misunderstanding and honestly bullshit coming out in these comments. I am going to speak on the word "reactive." It means Taylor is impulsive, explosive, unpredictable with dysregulated emotions. Being called "reactive" is not a good thing. It is a judgement on a person's ability to control themselves and their actions. Reactive means Taylor is not in control and assigns blame to others/events for her choices. Everything she has said, including mentioning her 2 miscarriages and being wasted were used to avoid accountability and have the blame focused on something or someone else for Feb 2023. She is tacitly admitting there is actual blame to be had for something abusive that occurred, but the blame is not on her. She does not think, she just acts in an unhealthy way.
She has a pattern of doing this, and this is something narcissists do, which is another term this sub does not seem to actually understand. She shifted blame when Demi called her out for reacting insanely for no public comments on a stupid CMA TikTok post. Taylor said she had an atomic bomb waiting. What was it? Shifting the blame from herself when Demi called her out on her abusive behavior. Taylor thought that was the best time to bring up Demi saying Jessi does not do hair well. Taylor did not say this out of the goodness of her heart. She waited until she was cornered, then made someone else look bad to take the heat off of her. She applied this same tactic when it was made public that she was having an affair. She did not take ownership or accountability; she went online and told the world lies and made it seem everyone in Momtok was cheating like her which is how the "swinging scandal" even began. This is again, shifting blame while perhaps unwittingly admitting someone is to blame for something bad happening. Just not her.
Taylor blames everyone but herself for her actions. It is always someone else's fault. This started before Dakota. She has severe mental health issues that have not been addressed, clearly. The judge was not saying she was just reacting to abuse. Stop inventing shit to "prove" you were right. She is reactive and that is a horrible character flaw.
Reactive is literally the opposite of being proactive. Proactive people think before making choices and this is typically considered a positive trait. If it comes off as being calculated, well any choice made with an actual thought process as to what the end result would be counts. With Dakota, it may be manipulative or appear as a methodical master plan. That is possible. It seems that Dakota thought through what would happen if he began to record. He felt it was needed for obvious reasons and made the choice. This is the outcome. If he never recorded Taylor, this current case probably would not be happening. The judge did not call him some Machiavellian level master manipulator. He simply said he seemed deliberate or calculated. This is not assigning blame to him - he still has custody in freaking Utah. Use your brains please.
This is my unofficial, professional understanding of what I have seen and what the judge actually said. It bothers me when people use pop psychology to create narratives that they are not qualified for. They go on to pathologize an entire relationship based on television and social media and viewing everything in hindsight. There is a lot of projection too with people comparing their experiences with abusive relationships and assuming the same must be happening with Taylor and Dakota. Every relationship is different and it is irresponsible to state that Taylor is just a victim or only behaves how she does due to reactive abuse. People are reading these comments and believing them. It must be true because someone said it online. The insistence that an interpretation you have is the only correct one causes misinformation when your interpretation is not based in reality.
Bottom line - I know most of you are not professionals, but you are extremely uneducated and use words you do not understand to make arguments that end up making no sense. Stop using your TikTok therapy speak to claim you know things you have no way of knowing. I am not just a psychiatrist but also specialize in forensic and neuro currently focusing on neuropsychopharmacology. It took me decades of school to have my experience, and I do have speculations about not just Taylor and Dakota, but most people on the show. But I am not stupid enough to pretend I have evaluated these people in real life and tested them in the ways needed to claim what is claimed here every day. Damn I am frustrated. But no, the judge did not say Taylor is using "reactive abuse" and Dakota is some "calculating manipulator controlling her." He literally said he cannot tell who is in control, which is how abuse works. Which is another word this sub mostly does not seem to understand. Unless you can back up your claims, please shut up and stop inventing scenarios in your head and applying these overused terms in your mind to make opinions seem factual. Every time you say these terms they become useless. Not every person that lies, manipulates, abuses, etc. is a narc, gaslighting, trauma bonding, projecting or whatever you tell yourselves. They are literally different terms for a reason and are not synonymous.
In retrospect you all seem to see Taylor as a victim for so long, but that does not actually explain her behavior we have watched and is not what the judge said, despite how hard you claim it.
ETA- Sorry I did not mean everyone. I am aware there are plenty of users who aren't doing what I ranted about. I needed to get this off my chest and said most the sub when that is not accurate.