I feel like the trainee nurse from the psych ward was really rude to me and unprofessional. Is this enough to complain?
I’m 20F. And have struggled with my mental health since I was like 10. A week ago I tried to kill myself. I almost died. After I was saved physically I got sent to the mental health unit so the crisis team could give me an evaluation. They asked if a trainee could sit in on it. I said sure. A gossipy girl I knew from school came in. I started to get quiet and embarrassed and wouldn’t answer the questions. I said it’s because I don’t feel comfortable with the trainee nurse anymore.
The trainee said “are you sure? I promise there’s absolutely no judgement and I have been training. It helps a lot for when I become a nurse.” The main nurse said “is that ok?” I said “yeah ok.” I said about my reasonings wanting to have help. I said pretty deep stuff. Getting high every day so that I can numb the pain.
How I’ve shut off emotionally from the world because I got abused and raped multiple times as a little kid. How I dropped out of school at 17 because of bullying and never doing anything with my life ever since and feeling like a failure compared to everyone else my age succeeding. I never see my friends. Don’t have a boyfriend. Never see my family. And I know I’m going to die young. It’s the only option I have. And that when I go home I’ll just try again and I honestly don’t want to get better because I know suicide is the only way I can get out of this downward spiral. I’ve lost everyone and everything I care about.
They ended up keeping me on the psych ward until today. The psych ward is connected to the mental health unit in the hospital so the nurse was doing trainee work on the actual ward. She was supervised so wasn’t openly judgemental and didn’t make it obvious we knew eachother when supervised.
But sometimes she was left alone for a bit if the people supervising her were busy or were taking a break. One of the days I was really depressed. I was crying. The trainee was alone at this point and came up to me and asked why I’m crying. I shrugged. She asked me what I do for work or school. Which I literally said in the assessment I haven’t done anything in years but I thought maybe she forgot. I said nothing at the moment.
I said it’s cool she’s training to be a nurse. She said “yeah it’s really good. Like I know you said in your assessment that you feel behind in life and yeah you are compared to me and everyone else from school so I get why you’re depressed.”
So then I realised ok she did remember. It felt like she was rubbing it in and kicking me when I’m down but I decided maybe she meant it on a good way.
She also one time talked to me when she was on her own and said “I never knew you’ve done drugs. That’s wild to me I thought you were a straight edge in school. In school I thought only the cool popular people did them.”
Other than that it was fine. Until today I got out of the ward. I wasn’t allowed my phone until now. I’ve gotten messages and Instagram DM’s from people I haven’t spoken to in years and even didn’t know well asking if I’m ok.
I said “yeah why?” They said they heard Im in the psych ward. One of them even mentioned details I said in the assessment. About getting high all the time. “Losing my virginity” at 10. That I’m estranged from my family.
I’m so angry and humiliated. I want to complain to someone but don’t know if this is enough or even if it’s provable. Or who I even COULD complain to. But I’m honestly crying I’m so angry.