Hi all. Over the last month i have been facing mortality with the one i love most and have realized that i believe after death is simply non existence. I have led quite a spiritual life in the last five years after facing many hardships and am surprised at this conclusion i have come to as i have always found comfort in there being more than we know or could possibly explain and having had an acceptance with 'not knowing' what is after. I guess i had believed there was something due to the many spiritual experiences i have had. Now i firmly believe there is still more out there than can be explained/ more than the physical world.. but that it is all a part of consciousness and existence, and non existence doesnt contain any of it. Its almost as if i have been on a path and now landed in a belief i didnt expect. Is anyone else here spiritual or were they? Does the terrifying nature of facing losing your loved ones to non existence get easier to cope with through time? Seeking any support or company in this belief. Thanks
Update- thank you for being a community here. I feel slightly better today after many days of spiralling. I want to clarify i wasn't coming from a background of a particular religion. I have always seen religions as having some truth in their lessons and that they help guide living and i will continue to do so. I have never believed in a god or heaven or hell being after life, however i have worked with plant medicines and experienced visions of dieties and such. That paired with a lot of unexplainable experiences i have encountered living, i guess i previously had peace in believing there is more than we know and there is 'something' after. I have always believed and had faith our energy lives on after we do. I suppose i never allowed myself to think about it beyond that and non existence wasnt an option in my mind. NOW, my half formed beliefs have landing maybe due to my griefing and facing existence once again. I now see spirituality as of the psyche and of the living, and non existence is much larger in my mind than existence is which is terrifying. Im confused about indigenous beliefs and work with the spirit world. Ironically i find peace in looking at astrophotography when scared. Much like we get fuel from eating a fishes body after it dies (i dont eat fish) i believe my body will give nutrients to the earth etc and thats about it. I guess i previously thought the energy from my consciousness would do something similar rather than just cease.