sooo after a childhood of being natural and developing self-hate, agoraphobia and social anxiety partly/largely due to the bullying i received from my natural hair.. i relaxed it. whoops! and tbh now i'm regretting it.
i def think it looks better considering beforehand my hair was very obviously heat damaged and i cut it way too short; but now im realizing i think black hair is the best/most beautiful.. my hair before i damaged it and when it was long was GORGEOUS even tho i had no clue how to style it. i'd always get compliments and tbh i should've just kept it and modelled or something.. but you guys know how crazy this world is.
esp now considering the history of the tigon laws and how they had to ban natural hair because white men wouldn't stop looking... and like i get it. i thought when ppl would say they like my hair/black hair in general they were just lying (ik.. the delusional/self hate..) but nope it actually just looks the best. esp when its long and HEALTHY. straight hair is boring (no offense) in comparison and thats just the truth! like these beauty standards r rlly not beautiful at all and have ppl looking crazy.
i'm thinking of just keeping on relaxing my hair tho and growing it out and then eventually doing the big chop/transition... but tbh natural hair looks so good i'm like why not just do it now? honestly i think all the relaxers/weaves/wigs are actually just a psyop by the government to keep black women down becuz long natural hair is power and beauty.
also the first negative experience i had becuz of my hair was from a BLACK teacher with a nasty bob wig (wigs can be cute but hers was sliding off..) and she called my hair "clown hair" meanwhile she prob. bald and scalding underneath. unfortunately i rlly took it to heart tho. :( (i was 3!)