Job Depression
So by the title, you can probably tell where this is possibly going. I hate my job. I currently work in audit in big4, and have just completed my cap2 exams, well, bar having to repeat tax in September. Before study leave was some of the worst times mentally since I started with how much pressure myself and my year group were under to get stuff done before we went off. I debated whether I wanted to even try for the exams and just fuck them all once study leave started. I kind of copped myself on and said to myself it’s just because study leave and we needed to get our work done and that it wouldn’t be like that when I got back, how I was wrong. On opening my CAP2 results, I actually had a slight sense of relief knowing that if things get bad again, I could just fail the repeat exam and get out of my contract, which is shit because it’s derailing my own career but it’s just how bad it’s been. Our department is severely understaffed, with FAE students still off as they need to use their leave, and seniors who all left once their contracts ended earlier this year, young associates are getting used and abused. Completing audit work that in previous years had been done by a senior associate 1 or 2 and just being expected to know how to do them as managers are too busy with all their reviewing they’ve left months late to help coach and we have little senior staff due to reasons I have mentioned. I feel like there’s no managers I can’t reach out to that won’t see this as me not being a team player or just whinging that they have to do overtime. I just hate it. Even worse is I’m writing this because I can’t sleep because I’m just thinking about work tomorrow and the stress it’s already giving me.. I never used to be so anxious waking up. I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or motivation to try stick through but I guess either is appreciated. I’m just scared because busy season hasn’t even begun.