How would a Buddhist cope with an undiagnosable/incurable illness that no one else seems to have?
Around ten years ago, I caught something unknown and I will try to explain it the best I can because I don’t even truly know what I am describing. This issue came very fast with no warning or process, with no major lifestyle changes. I wouldn’t consider the issue physical, behavioral, or mental inherently. It didn't start that way. Although over the years, it has definitely deteriorated my mental and physical state to a very noticeable degree. It affects the people around me more than myself, since some can feel it or hear it, while others can’t or don’t want to tell me. I can’t really hear it at all. People will tell me about it which is why I ruled out paranoia or schizophrenia, it can’t be that if others know about it. Also, doctors and therapists don't think it is either of them. It’s like it is fully there, but it’s not. I tried getting tested for autism; however, that was ruled out also. I took medications for anxiety and depression, while seeing no improvement so I stopped taking them after a few months. I have spent thousands on therapists and doctors trying to figure it out, and I am at a crossroad, confused on what to even to with my life. If it isn't schizophrenia, paranoia, autism, depression or anxiety I have no idea what it could be. I wish I never had this issue. I wish I was normal like everyone else. I am asking this question here, because I have no idea what do to from here. I don't want to be a burden to others for something I can't control.
As a final note, I know what I am say will make me seem a bit crazy. But the words I am typing can’t justify what I am experiencing, and I didn’t want to get to into detail about how it fully affects my life. All I can say is it pretty much ruined my life in every possible way. I don’t see myself living for much longer if this keeps up. I don't understand what I did to get this or how to get rid of it. I am not asking for sympathy. I am asking if someone understands what I am saying. If someone knows how to get out of this, please tell me.