Me (28F) and my husband (30M) have been married for 1.5 years. He’s currently on a spouse visa and I’m a British citizen. Our relationship has been very turbulent for a long time and we’ve even tried couples therapy, but I’m reaching a point where I genuinely don’t think we’re right for each other anymore.
What’s making me really anxious is that I’m scared he may try to make false abuse allegations against me if things continue to deteriorate or if we separate.
After a huge argument in January, we separated briefly for about 1–2 weeks. During that time, he went to his GP asking for antidepressants and mentioned that he and his wife had been fighting. He later told me he only did it so he could get signed off work for stress, but it made me uncomfortable he can be quite vindictive and im not sure if he will use this to get his IRL in the UK for his visa
For context, I have never physically harmed him or threatened him. If anything, when arguments escalate, I usually ask for space or try to leave the room. He tends to follow me from room to room trying to continue the argument, and sometimes won’t let things cool down. I’ll admit I can respond emotionally when pushed, but I’ve never been abusive.
I work in a Band 7 NHS role and I’m honestly terrified that false allegations could destroy my career and reputation. I’ve reached the point where I feel anxious even expressing my feelings during arguments because I worry he could secretly record things or twist situations later.
I’m struggling to know whether I’m overreacting or whether these are genuine red flags. I care about my husband, but I feel constantly anxious and on edge in this relationship, especially during conflict. I don’t know how to navigate this situation safely or healthily anymore and would really appreciate outside perspective.
Has anyone dealt with a relationship where you felt afraid of how the other person might behave during conflict or a separation? Am I overthinking this, or are these reasonable concerns to take seriously?
TL;DR: Me (28F) and my husband (30M) have been married 1.5 years and despite therapy our relationship has become very toxic. I’m scared he could make false abuse allegations against me because arguments escalate badly and I feel constantly anxious about protecting myself and my NHS career. Looking for advice and outside perspective.