Not here looking for anything just need to vent a little.
Friday 5/1 I had to put my girl Harley down. About a month ago I found out she had a soft tissue sarcoma on her left shoulder and it spread fast. Her last few days she was limping and couldn't put any weight on that leg at all. Wednesday I let her out to use the bathroom and she couldn't even make it back up the deck steps so I had to carry her in. She stopped eating and drinking completely and by Friday she was just laying in her bed all day whimpering and crying. I knew it was time.
She was 12 years old. 4 weeks ago I took her to an oncologist who wanted to either remove the mass or amputate the leg but her primary vet was against both. Then 2 weeks ago she had to have ear surgery to get a hematoma drained and during that visit they found she also had arthritis in her hind legs so the amputation was completely off the table after that. In less than 2 weeks after all of that her quality of life just dropped fast and I knew I couldn't let her keep suffering.
I reached out to Lap of Love and set up an in home service for Friday 5/1. That morning she actually got up and stood on her own for a few seconds before going back down. I laughed and told her that was the most I seen her move in 2 days. The vet was really kind and you could genuinely tell she cared about animals.
When Harley passed they brought someone in from the pet funeral home. The 2 ladies were going to carry her out but I told them I had to do it. I carried her into my house when she was 6 weeks old and at 12 years old it was my job to carry her out. I had her cremated and they delivered her ashes to my home yesterday so the process is complete now.
I couldn't have imagined how much this would hurt. I'm on day 3 and I still feel terrible. I know it gets better with time but right now it doesn't feel like it.
Rest in Peace Harley Quinn Nicole McCann.