Hello beautiful people! I wanted to do a deep dive into Don't Say Gay laws to better understand the debate and the competing narratives surrounding it because I found it genuinely confusing. I had heard all kinds of wild claims, like that kids were being taught about sex and stuff like that in elementary schools, so I wanted to get to the bottom of what exactly is being taught in schools and what the big deal is. I remember when I first heard about Florida passing their don’t say gay law back in 2022, and how it’s vague language made teachers and students afraid to talk about anything related to queerness in schools. The news that came from it, the fear, and then all the states that followed Florida afterward, was honestly appalling. Laws restricting discussions around LGBTQ+ topics in K-12 public schools have not stopped rolling out since then. In 2025, a case (Mahmoud v. Taylor) was brought before the Supreme Court, in which it was ruled that parents have the right to opt their kids out of lessons that use materials (this case was specifically about a book that contained LGBTQ+ characters) that conflicted with their sincerely held religious beliefs. I’m making this post with my findings to bring attention to the ongoing issues surrounding these laws and shed light on the disinformation that is being spread regarding LGBTQ+ inclusive education in K-12 public schools.
A lot of the debate around inclusive education stems from the concern that LGBTQ+ topics are too advanced for young children, and that conversations surrounding sexuality and gender identity should be had at home, not in schools. There is also widespread fear that it would cause children to question their sexuality or gender identity. But what is actually being taught in American public schools? From what I understand, there are only a handful of states that have legislature requiring inclusive education in K-12 schools, including California, Washington, Oregon, Colorado, Illinois and Nevada.
Why is inclusive education important?
- California’s FAIR act that rolled out in 2011 requires that schools add instruction in social studies/ history courses that is inclusive and accurately portrays diverse groups of people (LGBTQ+, persons with disabilities, different ethnic and cultural groups, etc.). The goal is to provide kids with a more well-rounded, diversified education and is inclusive of all people not just cishet white individuals. Diverse education is widely viewed as imperative to reduce bullying and create better mental, physical, and educational outcomes for all children.
Are schools really teaching kindergarten or elementary school age kids about sex and gender?
- At the younger grade levels, teachers might use a picture book that depicts a same sex couple, or talk about the diversity of families, communities and relationships within a lesson. But they’re not teaching about sex, they’re teaching kids about diversity. And by doing so, the aim is to help kids understand the world around them and reduce stigmatization toward different groups of people. These lessons are also extremely sparse from what I have read btw. It’s not an everyday occurrence.
- Lessons branch out once kids enter middle or high school, with inclusive sex-ed or history lessons, maybe an inclusive book is assigned in English class to encourage critical thinking, etc.
- Is there any proof that inclusive lessons are significantly tied to more kids becoming gay or trans?
- NO. There is so far no concrete evidence that inclusive lessons are tied to an increase in kids coming out as gay or trans.
So what’s the big deal? A lot of it boils down to opinion, religion and politics.
- Parents such as those involved in the Mom’s for Liberty organization believe that by having inclusive lessons in schools, school boards and politicians are hindering their rights as parents to oversee what their kids learn about sexuality and gender identity. They also believe that materials used and what is taught is inappropriate, indoctrinating, and that it causes confusion in minors. They want to know that what their kids are learning in school is educational, not political.
- Some parents believe that inclusive lessons are being used to advance the “woke agenda”.
- There is also the conversation around opt-out's. As previously shared, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of parents having the right to opt their kids out of lessons that include materials or subjects that conflict with their sincerely held religious beliefs.
- A lot of the rhetoric that I have seen online that is against inclusive education stems from those of a conservative or religious background, whose views conflict with queerness as a whole. Most of it is opinion based, not evidence based.
So what’s my take on all this?
Looking at this issue from an outside perspective, If elementary school age kids were being taught about sex fr, then I would be concerned too. I can also understand how inclusive lessons might conflict with a parents right to guide their kids religious upbringing. So I can understand opt-outs for that reason. But young kids are not being taught about sex or being sexualized in elementary schools... That is disinformation. A lot of this debate seems to be centered in fear. Fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of straying from the “norm” that previous generations grew up with. And that fear is pushing people to speak out and advocate for a return to “normalcy”. One lesson on queer history or using an inclusive picture book is not going to make a kid gay. Similarly, having no inclusive lessons will not get rid of queerness. People were gay and trans before it started to become normalized in schools and on social media, and LGBTQ+ individuals will continue to exist whether its taught about in schools or not. It’s impossible to avoid. And the whole point of inclusive education is for all kids to understand that, accept that, themselves, and each other, and hopefully create a less hateful society. The way I understand the concept is if an individual can understand and accept something from a young age, then they will become a more understanding and accepting adult. Pluck out the root of hate before it becomes a weed. And is that not what we all want at the end of the day? To be accepted and respected? Public schools are for everyone, and every LGBTQ+ adult was once a child in school. I think the best course of action to find balance in this situation would be for lawmakers to sit down and look at the benefits and constraints of inclusive education. Decide on what is appropriate for each grade level. And create standardized education that spans the nation so that parents can be assured that what their kids are learning is educational, and kids feel supported and represented. And if parents are uncomfortable with something, they can still opt their kids out of lessons that interfere with their sincerely held religious beliefs.