Teen and phone use/parental controls
My 14 y/o little miss keeps finding ways around screen time controls and it’s wearing me out- as well as the lying about it.
I have an iPhone as does she. It’s set to shut off at 11 and turn back on at 7 am. No matter what I do with the controls- she finds a way to work around them and then lies when I ask her about it.
The latest is some kind of “2 more minutes” thing. But you can do it indefinitely so it winds up being 2 more hours 😑 or whatever.
We were having her charge it downstairs because this is FAR from our first rodeo with this issue, but she’s in high school now- and we really want her to learn how to manage things.
I grew suspicious over the last few days because she was coming home and taking a 2-3 hour nap which is unusual for her (but not for her friends who have free reign on their devices). I checked her screen time and at first, it wasn’t showing up as usual- which was odd…so I was already on alert. The same thing happened yesterday and for some reason I was able to check her screen time again and she had used her 2 more minutes thing until 230 this morning- and had to be up for a school sports activity at 6.
When I asked her about the use, she lied and said it was her friend signed in on her device. First, it doesn’t work that way and secondly, I can see the time she’s posting.
Idk why- but the lying bothers me way more than the phone use.
People will say- oh they don’t feel safe enough to tell the truth. I say- they just don’t want consequences. At all. For anything.
Then some will say- natural consequences. I am all for those unless they affect me or others. In her sport- being tired leads to injury. Not just for her. For others.
Don’t let her participate anymore? I am already $2,000 in and it’s just beginning so I’m reluctant to do that.
Other than the obvious- charging the phone downstairs again- does anyone have any ideas?
And the lying 😭 I am not heavy handed with the consequences. I know friends are all encompassing at this age- I may take it for 1 day. But it makes me not trust her because any time she thinks she might lose it, or anything else- which again is not for extended periods of time- she will lie. I try really hard not to take it personally but it’s exhausting.
I understand why her friends parents have given up and just let these kids do whatever on their phones all hours of the night. It’s wearing me out and eventually she will just get a phone from someone else.
Any ideas? (Oh and botlo for the “2 more minutes” these controls aren’t as finite as you think.)