u/Inside_Maize_8522

Hi guys! Sorry this is going to be long, but I’d appreciate any feedback :)
I’m a new grad who started on a med surg floor about 5 months ago. I found that I wanted to work in the icu during nursing school. I really liked learning about taking care of patients with complex diagnoses, but the thought of doing it in real life terrifies me. I’ve never been a part of a code or even seen one. I have only had one of my own patients require a rapid response (it was while I was orienting, so my preceptor took the lead). I’ve had only a couple of patients that were becoming more critically ill, and each time I felt like it gave me a ton of anxiety. I worry that I won’t do well in an emergency and will freeze. Part of me has enjoyed having patients that are more acutely ill, but it also stresses me out tremendously. I know that “enjoyed” sounds wrong, but I liked the idea of doing interventions to help them. I think that it probably stresses me out so much because I have 3+ other patients that need my attention, but I just don’t know if I will be able to handle the intensity of the icu. Also, I know that the icu requires precision and attention to detail, and unfortunately feel like I lack in that department. I never miss big things, but I feel like I am not able to do things like a full head to toe assessment for every patient, or doing wound care according to the best standards, or other “best practice” things. I feel like I could miss the small things like slight changes in heart rate or a difference in pulses. I am not saying that I cut corners, but I think that my attention is pulled in too many directions to be as precise as I could be. Also, I didn’t work in heath care at all before starting this job, so I still feel like I am learning all of the basics. All of this is to say that I am absolutely terrified of the ICU lol. I am also very intrigued by it, and to be completely honest, I would love to go to CRNA school and know that I need ICU experience for that (and to see how I feel about critical care because if I don’t like the ICU, I probably wouldn’t like being a CRNA). Did any ICU nurses have this feeling before working there? How do you overcome this fear? Should I continue to work in a med surg unit until I am more comfortable? Any insight would be greatly appreciated as I would still love to work there, I am just very intimidated by it at the moment and I wonder if it is going to be too much for me.