I have been on Adderall since June 2012. The change in my daily life was astonishing! I could actual be functional instead of locked-up, struggling and wanting to just bury my head in the sand. But then fast-forward to 2022… my Adderall started changing. Initially, it was inconsistent. I’d have a normal batch and then the next batch would have little therapeutic benefit but tons of side-effects. I found myself taking half my normal dose (normal dose was 2 of the 30mg IR… one in the AM and one in the afternoon) and only taking my morning dose… and then months later, I had to start breaking that morning dose in half. I went from a total of, typically, 60mg/day… to 15mg/day and by last summer, even that half a pill was too much and I cut back to 1/4 a pill… so only 7.5mg/day. At this point, there was zero therapeutic benefit.
Then, this past January, my physician (a nurse practitioner who specialized in mental health) stopped working with a practice where she was able to write Rx’s under the physician of the practice’s umbrella. To follow her to the new practice would cost me $1200 and it was questionable if CVS would even fill the Rx because the practice address and my physician’s address were 4hrs away from each other.
I am failing in life. I have zero drive and motivation. As you guys know, it seems simple… just set a goal and follow thru… but as you guys also know, easier said than done. My boyfriend has a front-row seat to all of this.
I can’t afford $1200 to become an established patient at another [online] practice. But this morning, my boyfriend was saying, if I didn’t have to pay for it, would I do it?… Would I redo my adhd testing, would I “see about other brands of adderall”, would I “tell the psychologist about how it doesn’t work anymore, so they can do something about it”?
How can I convey to him that even if money were no issue, I don’t want to take the messed up meds! They don’t work and they cause me to feel horrible! That you can’t just roll up at some new doctor’s office and talk about how the meds don’t work and how you wanna try dexadrine, etc… because they will not prescribe to you and will mark you a seeker and send you on your way and you’ll be cockblocked for future medication… same thing for pharmacies. I don’t think he is understanding and believing just how temperamental these prescribers are and how bad the meds are.
What would you say to him?