u/IntelligentWhereas30

title. i was diagnosed 11 years ago when i had a tonic clonic at night; its genetic. I had a seizure last week for the first time in 4 years, and it was lit my greatest fear coming true. I “woke up” at the end of my 2022 tonic clonic seizure w paramedics and others around me while I was still seizing, and that’s been on repeat in my head since. I tried one therapy session thru my school but it went so poorly I didn’t go back.

Well! Last week, I was walking to breakfast one moment and the next paramedics were around me. It was the first day of a 5 week trip and I’ve been trying to enjoy myself, but I haven’t experienced this crushing literal moment-to-moment anxiety this badly before. I’ve cried every day this past week and a lot over the past 4 years.

I feel like after a seizure, I rly need time to decompress and wallow, but every time, my family/friends just treat the next day as any other day. The days of back strain, bit cheeks, general anxiety, etc. I know ppl have a lot more episodes than me — and I’m grateful that it’s generally under control — but that never ending dread is still there. I’m considering just adopting bc I don’t want to risk passing this on to my own kid.

This long ass post… sorry. It’s a rant for a reason. I don’t even know if I’m asking for advice, but any is welcome. I needed to shout into the void of ppl who might understand or give me a reality check.

And always — carpe diem!

You’re (unfortunately) teleported back to August of 1L. I wish I’d known that _______

I feel so alone

How to prepare specifically for UVA 1L fall?