Can we talk about the way foreigner women treat each other here?
I'm not sure I even know what I'm seeking by posting this, I think partly to vent some frustrations but also to really seek some perspectives on this...the title says "women" but everybody is welcome if they have something constructive to say.
For context, I am also a foreigner woman who has been living in Korea long term, off and on since about 2010 but moved back for good during covid. Maybe it wasn't so, maybe it was so and I just didn't notice it at the time, but I feel like the way foreigner women treat each other here didn't always used to be so...nasty. But now it's awful. It's like they put themselves in some kind of competition against each other to be more...I don't even know what. Better at speaking Korean, have more Korean friends, eat more Korean food just like a Korean does, be more attractive to Korean men, more "desirable" overall I guess, by whatever metric they're using at that moment. In the process I have seen women absolutely disparage others, in the most shocking ways, and for what? I don't even know. Making friends here is hard enough as it is, but as a woman, it's absolutely impossible because you feel like you cannot trust anyone. It's so incredibly high school and petty to see grown ass women doing this to each other.
What prompted this is something blowing up in apparently multiple facebook groups, it's literally turned into a race war, based on the context that's been made available I think the admin did something pretty fucked up but because of her community status I feel like I can't even speak up in support of anyone or else I'll become a target too, it's so fucked up. I know the solution is just to delete social media and I've already started by blocking facebook on my mobile.
I feel so fucking depressed seeing women treat each other this way, please help me understand it.
Edit: A commenter here is accusing me of being one of the people making inflammatory comments on the Facebook posts, I am not which EXACTLY proves my point about how bullshit this is. Commenter is mentioning specific actors by name which means she is clearly a member of the community observing the same shit go down and not some rando.
Edit 2: And now a second person has repeatedly commented accusing me of being directly involved in the facebook shitshow and "writing the drama myself." I AM NOT. And every time you accuse me of being an involved party, all you do is prove my point that the foreign women here - at least from that community - are absolutely BATSHIT. To anyone who is saying "hmm, well I've never seen in in my X years here" THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
Edit 3: When I first posted this, I thought it would get maybe a dozen comments, if that. I have now read through most of the TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY comments and most of them have been respectful, thoughtful, and meaningfully engaged with what I really wanted to discuss which was "Why are foreign women here so nasty to each other? I got some good perspective from people who pointed out that it's likely largely a social media problem, as it self-selects for a certain type of personality. I agree with this. I already left several groups and put a block on Facebook to deter myself.
My intention with mentioning the facebook cluster was not to get people to choose sides or anything. I did it to give a little context to the topic, and how I was feeling, because it felt like the cherry on top to what I'd been noticing and feeling for a long time. It was just the trigger. And you know what's even more bonkers? Here in these comments are, I am sure, the exact same people from the facebook cluster, continuing to hash it out in a different venue because they just cannot control themselves. Congratulations, you're BOTH ridiculous, immature children, you both deserve each other, the community deserves better than this, you have proved why leaving is the appropriate decision. ✌️