Is GPA 5 everything? I need help.
17M, I'm writing this because I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore.
It's been 10 days since the SSC results were released, and I achieved a GPA 4.94 with a total of 1068 marks. The fact that I didn't receive a GPA 5 left me confused, as I wasn't even expecting the result to be low.
My mom had gone to school to bring my little brother home. I was alone in my room. Though I was sad and cried a lot, the moment I heard the doorbell, I washed my face and tried my best not to let my mom see what state I was in.
She was basically traumatized when she saw the 4 on my result card. She even cried. Then I couldn't hold back my own tears, and I started crying too.
It felt as if someone in my family had died, not because I missed a GPA 5, but because of everything that GPA 5 represented.
I fell asleep around noon and woke up with a kick from my dad. Then he started complaining about my grades:
" You've trashed 11 years of hard work."
"What was the purpose of all this coaching and school if only to see this grade?"
"You watch your phone all day and study nothing."
These are my marks and grades:
| Subject | Marks | Grade |
|---|---:|:---:|
| Bangla | 155 | A |
| English | 147 | A |
| General Mathematics | 98 | A+ |
| Higher Mathematics | 88 | A+ |
| Physics | 95 | A+ |
| Chemistry | 98 | A+ |
| Biology | 91 | A+ |
| Religion | 82 | A+ |
| Bangladesh and Global Studies | 65 | A- |
| ICT | 49 | A+ |
I have no idea how I got 65 in BGS and 147 in English.
I missed an A in BGS by 5 marks, and I missed an A+ in Bangla by 5 marks.
The pain of seeing everyone enjoying their GPA 5 while I'm here living in a place full of sorrow is something I will never forget.
Even my crush got a GPA 5, and I didn't.
Somehow, that painful day ended.
The next day, we did the board challenge.
Now comes college admission.
My dream was to join Notre Dame College or St. Joseph Higher Secondary School, but those options are already gone.
I've been studying at BAFSK from Kindergarten all the way through Class X, so I thought they would probably give me some kind of quota or internal advantage, right?
NO. They don't.
They only accept students with a GPA 5 for Science.
So I was holding on to one last hope: maybe, just maybe, the subjects I applied for in the board challenge would be reassessed, and by some pure chance, my GPA would become 5.
Then maybe I could still get into a college I wanted.
But no.
A total of 402,051 candidates have applied to have their Secondary School Certificate (SSC) and equivalent examination results re-scrutinised after failing to get the grades they expected.
The applications cover 1.06 million answer scripts, Board of Intermediate and Secondary Education, Dhaka Secretary SM Kamal Uddin Haider said.
Then yesterday, we got the news:
একাদশ শ্রেণিতে ভর্তি প্রক্রিয়ায় বড় ধরনের পরিবর্তন আসছে। দ্রুত ক্লাস শুরু করার লক্ষ্যে এবার শিক্ষার্থীদের তিন ধাপে নয়, বরং এক ধাপেই অনলাইনে আবেদন করতে হবে। একক আবেদনের নিয়ম চালুর ফলে এবার আর মাইগ্রেশনের কোনো সুযোগ থাকছে না।
তবে পুনর্নিরীক্ষণে যাদের ফল পরিবর্তন হবে, যারা প্রথম ধাপে আবেদন করতে পারবেন না কিংবা কোনো কারণে কলেজ পাবেন না—তাদের জন্য পরবর্তীতে পুনরায় আবেদনের সুযোগ রাখা হবে। ভর্তি নীতিমালা কমিটি দ্রুততম সময়ে ক্লাস শুরু করার উদ্দেশ্যে এসব সিদ্ধান্ত নিয়েছে।
By which I might not get any benefit at all, because by the time the board challenge results are released, the colleges I dream of might already be filled.
আগে এসএসসি ও সমমানে উত্তীর্ণ শিক্ষার্থীরা তিন ধাপে একাদশ শ্রেণিতে ভর্তির আবেদন করতে পারত। এবার সেপ্টেম্বরের প্রথম সপ্তাহেই অনলাইন আবেদন শুরু করার পরিকল্পনা করা হয়েছে। সেপ্টেম্বরের তৃতীয় সপ্তাহে ক্লাস শুরু করতে চায় শিক্ষা মন্ত্রণালয়।
My question is, what is wrong with Milon?
If they genuinely wanted to start classes this early, why couldn't they simply tell us the truth from the beginning?
At least then students and their families could have planned accordingly.
Instead, we are once again seeing the consequences of poor planning, mismanagement, and a complete lack of responsibility.
Students have already spent months waiting for their results, and now the authorities suddenly want to rush the entire admission process and start classes within the same month.
Yesterday night, my friend came to my home, and we were literally discussing matrices and determinants. (Yes, we were.) After he left, I started watching some YouTube classes and doing math. My dad was on Facebook at the time, and then a video appeared on his feed titled "Bad News for SSC 2026," about how difficult college admission was going to be.
Suddenly, he told me to stop studying and started asking why I wasn't getting these kinds of videos on my own feed. He pointed out that I have Instagram, Facebook, Reddit, LinkedIn, and many other social media platforms, yet I never seem to get news about studying or college admission. Instead, I get topics about physics, planes, and rockets. He said that tells him what I really see on my phone.
Then he asked:
"Why are you thinking about building a whole UAV when you can't even join a college? Have you seen the news about college admission?"
Yes, I had.
-_-
Then my dad started telling me things like:
"Well, see, you aren't going to study in any Cantonment college."
"See how everyone's enjoying their GPA 5?"
"Out of around 550 students in your school, 325 of them got A+, and you couldn't even get it."
"What will be the benefit of spending so much money on Intermediate if you don't even get GPA 5?"
"If SSC is easy, Intermediate is seven times harder. You couldn't even get GPA 5, let alone Golden GPA 5. How do you think you're going to get GPA 5 in Intermediate?"
"You didn't even think about gettingan A+ in the first place. You didn't study."
And so on.
But to be completely honest, I did. I genuinely did the best I could. I had gotten A+ in English many times before, and throughout my school years, I usually scored around 75–85 in BGS. I genuinely have no idea how I ended up with 147 in English and 65 in BGS. I never even imagined that I would get such low marks in those subjects.
Well, actually, with a total of 1068 marks and a GPA of 4.94, which cantonment college is realistically going to accept me into the Science group? If there isn't a suitable cantonment college for me, then which college outside the cantonment would be the best option, preferably somewhere near my location? I live around ECB, Dhaka Cantonment.
To be brutally honest, I don't want to say this, but a substantial part of me really just hates everything.
I don't want to do anything permanent. But still, for the past few days, I have found absolutely no peace or happiness. I used to love programming, but now the hobby is gone. I used to love physics, but now it doesn't even feel like I'm studying. When I try to do math, the first question makes me forget everything. Watching Reels or YouTube feels boring. There is always this feeling of being a failure and anxiety about the future. Even when she texts me, it doesn't feel special anymore, and I'm confused about why. I hate being like this.
I cry in bed every night without letting anyone know. My throat feels like there's an anvil sitting on it. I only wish everything would go back to normal, but life itself is starting to look grey.
I wish everything ends here.