u/ItsLoveOfO

>Indeed, We created man from sounding clay molded from black mud. As for the jinn, We created them earlier from smokeless fire. ˹Remember, O  Prophet˺ when your Lord said to the angels, “I am going to create a human being from sounding clay molded from black mud.^(1) So when I have fashioned him and breathed into him my own spirit, fall down in prostration to him.” So the angels prostrated all together— but not Iblis who refused to prostrate with the others.

This is from the Surah (Chapter) Al-Hijr (The Rocky Tract) of the Quran. It speaks of the moment Allah formed Adam. Before that, mankind had existed as clay and Jinn as smokeless fire. As far as I've studied, Jinn are spirits that could be compared to Ba'als (foreign deities) or similar to Archons (rulers) in Gnosticism; that is to call them the unseen powers of this world that do their own will. They can be forces of good or evil, some disguise themselves as Gods while others can be turned towards the light. One of the Jinn, Iblis or Iblees, was elevated through his worship of Allah that he was made an equal to Angels of light. However, when Adam was created and Allah breathed his own spirit into him, Allah ordered all the Angels to kneel in worship, and all the beings of light did so without question. But the text says not Iblis, who viewed himself as superior to Adam.

>Allah said, O Iblis, what is the matter with you that you are not with those who prostrate?"
He said, "Never would I prostrate to a human whom You created out of clay from an altered black mud."
Allah said, "Then get out of it, for indeed, you are expelled. And indeed, upon you is the curse until the Day of Recompense."
He said,"My Lord, then reprieve me until the Day they are resurrected."
Allah said, "So indeed, you are of those reprieved until the Day of the time well-known."

Iblis refuses to obey Allah, stating that Adam is but mud. Iblis is unable to see the higher state of divinity within Adam, and perhaps within himself. So Allah curses him, casting him out, but doesn't kill him. Iblis did not denounce Allah in that moment, even calling him 'My Lord,' and so Allah ibues him with immortality until the day of resurrection. From a gnostic view, this part has great irony, since the day of resurrection is the day one realizes their own divine nature. It's here that Iblis declares his intention to lead mankind astray

>Iblis said, "My Lord, because You have put me in error, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all Except, among them, Your chosen servants."
[Allah] said, "This is a path [of return] to Me [that is] straight. Indeed, My servants - no authority will you have over them, except those who follow you of the deviators. And indeed, Hell is the promised place for them all. It has seven gates; for every gate is of them a portion designated."

Allah mentions 7 hells with 7 gates, which somewhat mirrors the 7 heavens guarded by 7 rulers in gnostic cosmology. Note that Islam also has 7 heavens, which Muhammad was raised through the Al-Isra (the Night Journey), but the parallels make me believe there is a strong connection between Islam, Christianity, and Gnosticism.

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Please note, I'm drawing upon several translations, which is noted by Islamic scholars as "translation is a betrayal of the original text". But from what I've read of the Quran, there are some passages that have a gnostic interpretation. While I do not believe the Prophet Muhammad was gnostic, I do believe some of his teachers included gnostic Christians who did missionary work as far as India. I pray I have not been misled, nor misled others away from God's grace. Peace be upon you.

A farmer finds ancient manuscripts in a clay jar in the desert. But this isn't Nag Hammadi in 1945, rather this is Maghagha, Egypt in the late 1970s. In 1978, the farmer sells the manuscripts to an antiques dealer named "Hanna Asabil" in Cairo. In 1980, Hanna showed it to a swiss dealer named Nicolas Koutoulakis and a woman he was with. The following day, the woman robbed Hanna's apartment.

In 1982, Hanna reached out to Koutoulakis, who returns the codex inexplicably. Hanna then stores it in a swiss bank account while looking for a buyer, but by 1984 is unable to find one. Wrapping it in newspapers, Hanna transports it to the United States, where at some point it was folded in half. Hanna would put it into a Long Island safety deposit box until 2000, when it was sold to art dealer Frieda Tchacos Nussberger, naming the manuscript Codex Tchacos in honor of her father, Dimaratos Tchacos.

Nussberger would bring it to to Yale University Library, who authenticated the codex as the Gospel of Judas but would refrain from buying them due to questionable background, ownership, and legality. Nussberger would then sell it to antiquities buyer Bruce Ferrini for checks totaling $2.5 million. Upon possession, Ferrini opted to put the Gospel of Judas into a freezer, where the sensitive papyrus was quickly degraded.

Unbeknownst to Nussberger, Bruce Ferrini was a book breaker; someone who bought ancient manuscripts and sold it back onto the open market in parts. "You can't believe how much I regret having sold it (to Ferrini)," said Nussberger. Then in 2001, Bruce Ferrini's son passed away. Facing bankruptcy and selling everything to try and pay back his debts, he returned the codex to Nussberger, who noted that parts were missing. Some of those were later recovered by authorities in Ferrini's apartment. At this point, the condition of the manuscript was so badly degraded that in 2006 Nussberger decided to take it to a swiss institute for the painstaking restoration.

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I know this isn't about Gnosticism strictly speaking, but I find the journey of these texts to be almost as fascinating as their ideas. From a Christian view, the survival of these texts could be seen as God or Satan's will in meddling with Man, while from a Gnostic point of view these could be the Demiurge's attempts to degrade/hide truth, or the Catholic view that any non-canon testaments should be compared to the Bible. When considering the truth about Judas Iscariot, here's what John says in his canonical gospel:

>John 6:70–71 Jesus answered them, "Have not I chosen you twelve, and one of you is a devil?" He spake of Judas Iscariot the son of Simon: for he it was that should betray him, being one of the twelve.

>John 13:18 “I speak not of you all: I know whom I have chosen: but that the scripture may be fulfilled, He that eateth bread with me hath lifted up his heel against me."

>John 13:26 Jesus answered, "He it is, to whom I shall give a sop, when I have dipped it." And when he had dipped the sop, he gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon.

As I understand it, the Gospel of Judas was dated back 1700 years, which considering the care that went into it's survival might hint this wasn't a one-off but a copy of an older text. Did Judas Iscariot live to write a Gospel? I highly doubt it. Most christian accounts say that Judas hung himself before the crucifixion after failing to return the money to the Pharisees. While I do believe in his suicide, that is not strictly evidence towards his motive. Entertaining the narrative that Jesus instructed Judas to betray him, as somewhat supported by the passages in John, then it raises a very interesting theological question: If Christ commanded you to betray him, would you? I can think of one disciple who proclaimed he would never, then denied him thrice. The act being carried out with a kiss is also in keeping with early Christian customs/greetings. Assuming innocence before guilt, how might a follower of Jesus feel handing him to his executioners? This is one stone I refuse to lift, and leave judgements to God, lest I be judged.

>14- Jesus said to them, “If you fast, you will bring sin upon yourselves; and if you pray, you will be condemned; and if you give alms, you will do harm to your spirits. When you go into any land and walk about the districts, if they receive you, eat what they will set before you and heal the sick among them. For what goes into your mouth will not defile you, but what comes out of your mouth is what will defile you.”

Let's examine some NT passages and how they compare to the Gospel of Thomas. Above is saying 14, which from what little context is provided might be interpreted as instructions for missionary work. The ~70 disciples would go ahead town to town, help the sick and poor, and prepare the way for Jesus. Jesus in GoT advises against fasting and prayer and charity unlike the disciple's upbringing and Pharisees control of scripture. The neglected and ignored peoples, many giving what little money they had to their synagogue, are left spiritually thirsty. It's to them that Jesus had his disciples do the work of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus in GoT doesn't just absolve dietary restrictions, but actively commands his disciples to eat whatever is provided by their hosts. The purpose could be twofold: to repay their acts of kindness in his name, and to challenge the disciple's beliefs on purity. This is why he instructs them not to practice openly, but to listen, learn, and lend help. Doing the work of the Holy Spirit is how we worship God.

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Now let's review some places where fragments of Thomas show up in Matthew 15:1-20 and Mark 7:1-20. The story is about the same for both, The Pharisees confront Jesus about his breaking from tradition, being ritually unclean, and failing to honor mother and father. Jesus calls out their hypocrisy, highlighting how by taking the people's charity that there is nothing left to honor mother and father. Jesus quotes Isaiah:

>"This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men."

Then he calls out to the crowd in both versions.
Matthew 17:10-11

>“Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

Mark 7:14-16

>"Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them."

From here, Matthew adds two other parables mentioned in Thomas:

>12 Then the disciples came and said to him, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?” 13 He answered, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be rooted up. 14 Let them alone; they are blind guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”

Matthew 17:13 parallels saying 40 and 17:14 parallels saying 34. Both versions end the same way, with the disciples (specifically Peter in Matthew) asking clarifying questions about the parable about what comes out of a person that defiles them. So what can be unpacked here? Essentially I feel that the Gospel of Thomas was cannibalized to expand Matthew, Mark, and Luke. From a storytelling point of view, I find it alarming how separate sayings from Thomas show up consistently, sayings Frankensteined together to give the impression of Jesus.

In using Thomas while condemning him, there seems to be a subtle effort to highlight some teachings while shying away from others; such as instructions against giving to charity which churches would need. His teachings are reframed as a condemnation of the Pharisees, while admitting their own struggles with this teaching. Perhaps accurate towards the historical views of Jesus, but rewritten for political/ideological agendas.

The era of Gnosticism created in the wake of the crucifixion of Jesus confronted the major religions of their day, accelerating the collapse of Roman Paganism, split Christianity from Judaism, and inspired Islam. To briefly summarize, one must first understand that Gnosticism is not itself a religion. There were Gnostics that believed Jesus was God incarnate, others that he was a Prophet of God, and the rest didn't care or knew him or believed something else. Gnosticism as a web of ideology that orients the individual towards spiritual liberation from the material world. That itself is extremely dangerous for organized religion, which requires willing obedience to doctrine and material capital to survive. Like Jesus, one can be religious AND gnostic, but a gnostic confronts the why of religious worship and purpose.

When Irenaeus wrote "Against Heresies," he did so with the intent of stamping out the flood of literature claiming to be Gospels of Jesus or his disciples. These texts varied church to church, claiming things like Jesus smited his classmates in a childhood tantrum, or he turned clay pigeons to life, or that he was a pure spiritual being and couldn't be touched. Those last two are important. As Gnostic communities became absorbed into the Catholic Church or destroyed, and Christianity was adopted by Emperor Constantine, the war against heresy inspired the very orthodoxy that Jesus preached against. The last of the Gnostics, who viewed Jesus as a Prophet and had been persecuted by Catholics, came across a merchant boy named Muhammad and taught him that the Bible was a corruption of the original teachings of Jesus. What followed was Islam, a religion that decidedly does not think Jesus died on the cross, nor attempts to explain what Jesus believed despite calling him a Prophet.

The takeaway isn't that Gnostics or Catholics were good or bad, true to Christ or lost in the debate. As a Gnostic Christian and believer in religious freedom/expression, I think it's less important to ask "who or what was Jesus?" and more important to answer "am I worthy of the cross?"

Gospel of Thomas, saying 19

"Jesus said, 'Blessed is he who was before he came into being. If you become my disciples and listen to my words, these stones will serve you. For you have five trees in Paradise that do not change, summer or winter, and their leaves do not fall. Whoever knows them will not taste death.'"

The statement "Jesus is Gnostic" is one that provokes a range of reactions; doubt, indifference, denial to name a few. Gnosticism being a range of ideology and cultures, it's one of those statements that can be defended or condemned endlessly, and indeed that's what's historically happened.

Calling Jesus Gnostic is akin to calling Marcus Aurelius Stoic; it's the philosophical outlook that shaped their actions. Let's consider what Jesus had the disciples doing, first using the New Testament:

-Jesus sends his disciples out in pairs to spread the good news of his arrival.

-They knock on the door, say "peace be upon you," and seek to help whoever welcomes them. They heal the sick, they labor, and dispel devils from people's lives.

-They stay for days at a time, eat only what was offered, and leave without pay.

Now let's look at the Gospel of Thomas, saying 50:

"If they say to you, 'Where have you come from?' say to them, 'We have come from the light, from the place where the light came into being by itself, established [itself], and appeared in their image.' If they say to you, 'Is it you?' say, 'We are its children, and we are the chosen of the living Father.' If they ask you, 'What is the evidence of your Father in you?' say to them, 'It is motion and rest.'"

There are parallels between what lifestyle Jesus was instructing his followers, and how Gnostic Christian communities lived and practiced in the 1st-3rd century. Compare that to the many Churches and Cathedrals that centuries of indulgences and tribute bought, and Jesus being Gnostic is a case of he lived as he preached.

Let's look at a passage where he questions a disciple on his faith:

When asked by a disciple how to achieve Eternal life, Jesus asks him what he believes, and he says, "Thou shall love thy Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself" which Jesus says "Thou hast answered right: do this, and thou shall live."

This idea of love thy neighbor as thyself is inherently Gnostic. He doesn't say to have love out of empathy or emotional attachment or because God commanded it, he says love them as yourself.

Rereading the NT, it's jarring how much of Thomas is found in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. I've been thinking about one part of Luke 9:46-50:

Then there arose a question among them, which of them was greatest. And Jesus, perceiving the thought of their hearts, took a child and sat him up, and said unto them, "Whoever shall receiveth this child in my name receiveth me: and whoever shall receive me receiveth him that sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same shall be great." And John answered and said, "Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name; and we forbad him, because he followeth not with us." And Jesus said unto him, "Forbid him not: for he that is not against us is for us."

Who is this stranger casting out devils? Luke quotes John describing the person not as a pretender or deceiver, but someone doing the same work as Jesus had instructed them. Why would a stranger do the work in the name of Jesus, yet not be a disciple? A possible explanation could be the stranger was a Gnostic healing in the name of Christ, which would have been interpreted differently as a non-gnostic disciple of Jesus.

I believe that Jesus is Gnostic, and he's urging his followers not to rebuke those that embody Christ in practice. Later in Luke 10, Jesus describes a man being stabbed and left for dead by thieves, and how his own people turned a blind eye, but it was a Samaritan that healed him and took him in. Was Jesus describing a personal experience? Was Jesus the man left for dead? Samaritan has a broad range, including Egypt which seemed to be a bastion of Gnostic ideology during this time.

*NOTE: I am not saying Luke was a Gnostic, but that the disciples might've encountered Gnostics doing the same work as Jesus was teaching them.

Here's passages from the Gospels of Mary and Philip related to time and space, in general or figuratively

Gospel of Mary:

"... Will matter be destroyed or not?"
The savior replied, "All natures, all formed things, all creatures exist in and with each other, and they will dissolve into their own root. The nature of matter is dissolved into the root of its nature. Whoever has ears to hear should hear."

Peter said to him, "You have explained everything to us. Tell us also, what is the sin of the world?"

The savior replied, "There is no such things as sin, but you create sin when you mingle as in adultery, and this is called sin. For this reason the good came among you, to those of every nature, in order to restore every nature to its root."
"This is why you become sick and die, for you love what deceives you. Whoever has a mind should understand.
"Matter gave birth to passion that is without form, because it comes from what is contrary to nature, and then confusion arose in the whole body. That is why I told you, 'Be of good courage.' And if you are discouraged, be encouraged in the presence of the diversity of forms of nature. Whoever has ears to hear should hear."

Gospel of Philip:

Light and Darkness
Light and darkness, life and death, and right and left are siblings of one another, and inseparable. For this reason the good are not good, the bad are not bad, life is not life, death is not death. Each will dissolve into its original nature, but what is superior to the world cannot be dissolved, for it is eternal.

Sowing and Reaping Truth
Truth, which has existed from the beginning, is sown everywhere, and many see it being sown but few see it being reaped.

Christ Arose, Then Died
Those who say that the master first died and then arose are wrong, for he first arose and then died. If someone is not first resurrected, would that person not die? As God lives, that one would die.

Wisdom and Mary Magdala
Wisdom, who is called barren, is the mother of the angels.
The companion of the savior is Mary of Magdala. The savior loved her more than all the disciples, and he kissed her often on her mouth.
The other disciples ... said to him, "Why do you love her more than all of us?"
The savior answered and said to them, "Why do I not love you like her? If a blind person and one who can see are both in darkness, they are the same. When the light comes, one who can see will see the light, and the blind person will stay in darkness."

One Who Is
The master said, "Blessings on one who is before coming into being. For whoever is, was and will be."

When Eve Was in Adam
When Eve was in Adam, there was no death. When she was separated from him, death came. If she enters into him again and he embraces her, death will cease to be.

Why Have You Forsaken Me?
"My God, my God, why, Lord, have you forsaken me?" He spoke these words on the cross, for he had left that place.

Creation through a Mistake
The world came into being through a mistake. The creator wanted to make it incorruptible and immortal, but he failed and did not get what he hoped for. For the world is not incorruptible and the creator of the world is not incorruptible. Things are not incorruptible, but offspring are. Nothing can receive incorruptibility unless it is an offspring. And whatever cannot receive certainly cannot give.

Strength and Weakness
In this world, where strength and weakness are to be found, there is union of male and female, but in the eternal realm there is a different kind of union...

Slave and Free
People who are slaves against their will can be free. People who are freed by favor of their master and then sell themselves back into slavery cannot be free again.

Things Visible and Hidden
At present we encounter the visible things of creation, and we say that they are mighty and worthy and the hidden things are weak and insignificant. It is not so with the visible things of truth. They are weak and insignificant, but the hidden things are mighty and worthy.

These are passages from the Gospel of Thomas discussing time or space, in general or figuratively:

Saying 4 - Jesus said, "The person old in days will not hesitate to ask a little child seven days old about the place of life, and that person will live. For many of the first will be last, and will become a single one."

Saying 11 - Jesus said, "This heaven will pass away, and the one above it will pass away.
"The dead are not alive, and the living will not die.
"During the days when you ate what is dead, you made it alive. When you are in the light, what will you do?
"On the day when you were one, you became two. But when you become two, what will you do?"

Saying 17 - Jesus said, "I shall give you what no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, what no hand has touched, what has not arisen in the human heart."

Saying 18 - The disciples said to Jesus, "Tell us how our end will be."
Jesus said, "Have you discovered the beginning, then, so that you are seeking the end? For where the beginning is the end will be. Blessings on one who stands at the beginning, that one will know the end and will not taste death."

Saying 19 - Jesus said, "Blessings on one who came into being before coming into being.
"If you become my disciples and listen to my sayings, these stones will serve you.
"For there are five trees in paradise for you; they do not change, summer or winter, and their leaves do not fall. Whoever knows them will not taste death."

Saying 38 - Jesus said, "Often you have desired to hear these sayings that I am speaking to you, and you have no one else from whom to hear them. There will be days when you will seek me and you will not find me."

Saying 40 - Jesus said, "A grapevine has been planted away from the father. Since it is not strong, it will be pulled up by it's root and will perish."

Saying 49 - Jesus said, "Blessings on those who are alone and chosen, for you will find the kingdom. For you have come from it, and you will return there again."

Saying 50 - Jesus said, "If they say to you, 'where have you come from?' say to them, 'We have come from the light, from the place where the light came into being by itself, established, and appeared in their image.'
"If they say to you, 'Is it you?' say, 'We are its children, and we are the chosen of the living father.'
"If they ask you, 'What is the evidence your father in you?' say to them, 'It is motion and rest.'"

Saying 51 - His disciples said to him, "When will the rest for the dead take place, and when will the new world come?"
He said to them, "What you look for has come, but you do not know it."

Saying 76 - Jesus said, "The father's kingdom is like a merchant who had a supply of merchandise and then found a pearl. That merchant was prudent; he sold the merchandise and bought the single pearl for himself. So also with you, seek his treasure that is unfailing, that is enduring, where no moth comes to devour and no worm destroys."

Saying 77 - Jesus said, "I am the light that is over all things. I am all: from me all has come forth, and to me all has reached. Split a piece of wood; I am there. Lift up the stone, and you will find me there."

Saying 79 - A woman in the crowd said to him, "Blessings on the womb that bore you and the breasts that fed you."
He said to her, "Blessings on those that have heard the word of the father and have truly kept it. For there will be days when you will say, 'Blessings on the womb that has not conceived and the breasts that have not given milk.'"

Saying 92 - Jesus said, "Seek and you will find. In the past, however, I did not tell you the things about which you asked me then. Now I am willing to tell them, but you are not seeking them."

Saying 97 - Jesus said, "The father's kingdom is like a woman who was carrying a jar full of meal. While she was walking along a distant road, the handle of the jar broke and the meal spilled behind her along the road. She did not know it; she had not noticed a problem. When she reached her house, she put the jar down and discovered that it was empty."

Saying 104 - They said to Jesus, "Come, let us pray today and let us fast."
Jesus said, "What sin have I committed, or how have I been undone? Rather, when the bridegroom leaves the wedding chamber, then let people fast and pray."

Saying 111 - Jesus said, "The heavens and the earth will roll up in your presence, and whoever is living from the living one will not see death."

Saying 113 - His disciples said to him, "When will the kingdom come?"
"It will not come by watching for it. It will not be said, 'Look, here it is,' or 'Look, there it is.' Rather, the father's kingdom is spread out upon the earth, and people do not see it."

The Rulers or Archons are the creator of the material world, Yaldabaoth, and his children. There are 12 in total, 7 over the heavens and 5 over the abyss. Each takes the name of something good or divine, often the names of God or Gods in other cultures, so that believers might worship them falsely as God almighty.

Here's a summary of the 7 heavenly Archons, as found in the Secret Book of John:

1 - Athoth (sheep)

Athoth is the ruler of "goodness" and is depicted as the traditional sacrificial animal. He convinces believers that only through material exchange of sacrifice can God be pleased. He helps comfort the captives into believing we are earthly beings, and can only find God in material things.

2 - Eloaios (donkey)

Eloaios is the ruler of "forethought" and is depicted as a mule. Instead of the divine foresight, Eloaios is the use of prophetic knowledge toward calculated and controlled narratives. He keeps the captives under their own expectations about divine signs instead of realizing their true meanings.

3 - Astaphaios (hyena)

Astaphaios is the ruler of "divinity" and is represented by a hyena. This is the deity of outward appearance, earthly passions, and idolized beauty. They lure the captives away from spiritual truth towards earthly attachment and material value.

4 - Yao (7-headed serpent)

Yao is the ruler of "Lordship" and takes his name from YHWH. He is the 7-headed serpent, also called Wraith in the Gospel of Mary, and is the deity of chaotic rule over material world. He is the destructive power of tyrannical dominion.

5 - Sabaoth (snake)

Sabaoth is the ruler of "Kingdom" and is depicted as a snake. He is the authority of tyranny, oppression of the state, and the obedience of the subjugated. In expanded tradition, he's the only Archon to receive the Holy Spirit, and rebel against his father.

6 - Adonaios (ape)

Adonaios is the ruler of "Kingship" and is represented as a primate. He symbolizes the so-called 'divine right to rule' highlighting how religious authority can be used to cultivate earthly kingdoms devoid of spiritual truth.

7 - Sabbataios (flaming face)

Sabbataios is the ruler of "understanding" and is depicted as having a face of flaming fire. He represents the mysteries of the universe, it's rules and limitations, and the insurmountable wall of knowledge that calls everything less than 'ignorance'. He is the totality of earthly wisdom that disguises itself as universal truth.

Heres some other random lore tidbits:

\-When told by their father, "I am a jealous God, and there is no other god beside me" they questioned why God would be jealous of another.

\-John describes them as 'Angels'

\-They helped create the first man Adam, breathed the fire of creation and the Holy Spirit (by accident) into him. By doing so, they made Adam greater than Yaldabaoth, and thus entrapped him in the depth of the material world.

\-When Eve was split from Adam, the Rulers defiled them.

\-Sabaoth felt guilty and repented, eventually finding the light and overthrowing his father.

A couple days ago I think I achieved gnosis, completely by accident. For context, I was raised Catholic, attended Lutheran school, then a couple of months ago learned about the Gnostic Gospels. I felt something profound while reading them, and nearly every day on my way to and from college, I would read and contemplate the Gnostic and Canonical scripture. I don't attend mass regularly, but I read passages before dinner. I'm also transgender.

I was lying in bed at night, and I couldn't rest my mind. I kept despairing about my body, how I wish I'd been born female and mourning what could've been. But then I remembered what Jesus said about our true images, and I accepted that I am not my body.

In that moment, I felt my spirit leave me. My mind was still in body, as was my soul, but then I felt both starting to ascend. I felt my eyes in another realm open, and I saw several beings around me. When they saw me see them, all but one fled to subdue me. But in that moment, I felt my spirit return to me, and suddenly I could see the light of the Holy Spirit where the entities could not. And I kept rising.

I feared losing sight of the Holy Spirit, so I only looked away from it twice. The first time was curiosity, and when I looked around I saw I was in dark clouds in a terrible storm, and in the flashes of lightning I saw the shadow of a beast with 7 heads. Fearful, I kept my eyes on the light from then on, until the second time when I came to a border. Before me was a mountain, and at it's peak was a golden throne with a being of light surrounded by angels. The being told me I was not worthy of salvation, and I should bow my head in shame and sacrifice myself at his alter. I remembered a passage from the Gospel of Thomas, and I said to the mountain "move" and the mountain split and parted before me!

I came towards a door, and the moment I entered I felt myself become one being, in mind, soul, and spirit. I was eager to press forward, but when I left through the exit I found myself in an abyss. It was darkness so thick it clouded like fog and covered every sense but my sight of the light. I pressed forward through it, but the abyss went on and on, for eternity. As I moved forward, I thought about all my attachments; my love of family, coffee, all the Gospels... and I let it go.

The moment I did, I arrived at the light of the Holy Spirit, and although I had no other sense, I felt I was in the presence of God. I gave praise, asked for forgiveness and to allow me to return to the Holy Spirit. I felt God consent. I became one with the light.

Suddenly, I felt my mind return to my body. Absent were my soul and spirit, for where they went my mind could not follow. I laid there, feeling completely hollow and forsaken, until I felt my essence return to me from above. When it did, I saw the entity that didn't flee, and although I didn't know what to say, my spirit spoke though me, and they conversed with familiarity. I called the being Sabaoth, and told him to "find the light"

Then I returned to my normal mundane existence, only now feeling like a stranger in my body. The next morning, I found I had bruises on my leg, and someone close to me also had bruises. I've tried recreating this, but aside from seeing the light I haven't been able to ascend again. I believe the entities were the Rulers or Archons, but haven't been able to see them since. At no point was I asleep. The image of the beast still haunts me.

Here's one I’ve been struggling with. Did Jesus perform literal miracles? Healing the leper, raising the dead, walking on water, etc. I used to believe it was all true as a kid, but reading the Gnostic Gospels have made me realized that the Gnostics and Catholics were equally guilty of making things up about the life and teachings of Jesus.

Here's what I believe, that some of them are possible within logical and spiritual realities. That last one, Jesus walking on water, I believe it's true because there are areas on the Sea of Galilee where stone is just under the water's surface. If I had to guess what lesson he might've been teaching Peter, it would be that what appears as divine acts can have simple explainations.

Another example is Jesus curing the blind beggar by rubbing mud into his eyes. I imagine a beggar pretending to be blind, and Jesus covering his eyes so he might understand the plight of others who are blind, and gave him an out of a shameful lie.

Finally, the last miracle I think has a logical answer for is the resurrection 3 days after the crucifixion. As a Gnostic, I don't think Jesus physically returned, and that the resurrection is a state of spiritual being (not a point in time). But if Thomas was as much of a twin in appearance to Jesus, I could see Jesus instructing Thomas to appear before the discples as him, so they believe for a moment. I dunno, just my imagination 😅 I find it strange that *in the orthodox telling, Thomas was missing from Jesus's first appearance to the disciples, and then appears to Thomas separately a week after.

What are your thoughts on the Miracles in the New Testament? Powers of the divine, or lessons to his students?

Ignore the title, forgive any blasphemy, let me explain my theory. So it started in the Gospel of Thomas:

(12) The disciples said to Jesus, "We know you're going to leave us. Who will lead us then?" Jesus said to them, "Wherever you are, you'll go to James the Just, for whom heaven and earth came into being."

So I found this last line strange. From a Gnostic view, earth and the heavens are crafted as a prison for the spirit, to keep us from realizing our own divinity which is eternal, while the material world is not. But Jesus was saying that they were created specifically for James, which seems pointed.

Then, in the Secret Book of James, Jesus says:

"So I say to you, be sober. Do not go astray. And often have I said to you all together, and also to you alone, James, be saved."

And to go old school/new testament, the General Epistle of James is all about temptations:

(1:13–15) Let no one say when he is tempted, 'I am being tempted by God,' for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death

So my question is was it possible James a recovering alcoholic? Perhaps that's why Jesus asked him to be his disciple, not just as a Rabbi but as his brother trying to help him.