Caps: Where To Go In This Situationship? (Long)
I’m 35(m), Gem sun, cap rising, cancer moon. She’s 33, cap sun, cap rising, cancer moon.
We matched on Tinder in February, I live in Austin, TX. She lives in Hamilton, Canada, close to Toronto. How we matched you ask? She was here for a week for a bachelorette and by the time we matched, she was back home. But we continued to talk. She gave me her number after a few days and began to chat more. She was always busy with work and we only chit chatted a few times in the day. I had told her about meeting together some day in Chicago because I had plans going there in April and she obliged. She trusted me enough that we would stay in separate rooms in an Airbnb. For 4 days, we went out, had dinner, saw the sights, and on the last day I made a move to kiss her, to which she reciprocated. We both left back home the next morning.
I was hooked on her. She told me a bit about herself, and how busy she is with work during the week and mostly spends her time with friends and family on weekends. She told me she got off of a 6 year relationship, a year ago, and that was something I locked in on. Because she’s in a phase where she’s really open to anything at the moment, she admitted she had trips and concerts lined up and wanted to continue to do things she missed on. I jokingly asked her let’s do a European trip together in June, to which she said she was up for. We planned a 2 week trip in June and stayed in consistent communication.
Now, we were not exclusive. I was dating others and she was as well. She had been clear with me before Chicago that she had no expectations of us because it takes her a long time to trust and be comfortable with someone to move the relationship forward, and that includes sex. Before our trip to Europe she was clear that there would be no physical contact or romance because she still hasn’t met me there yet. Well, during the trip, that plan fell apart as we would have sex multiple times and really become more intimate together. We also began to talk about exclusivity. Unfortunately, some red flags came out and the dynamic had changed. She got really picky at things I did and she showed some things of herself that I didn’t appreciate. Alas, at the last day of the trip, several insecurities from both sides were shown and the compatibility began to crumble. Talks of being exclusive deteriorated. We didn’t really speak to each other when we split at the airport.
Since then, however, we have been talking again and I’ve apologized for the way I acted on that day and she told me that she trusts me it was just a blip because the majority of the rest of our relationship showed that. I’ve zeroed in on things she appreciates: being reliable, acts of service, helping her with practical matters; just trying to be consistent and gain her trust again. She’ll tell me she appreciates everything I do for her, and I enjoy that. But by no means do I get a feeling I’m being taken advantage of because I will no doubt tell her I can’t do what I can’t do.
But now I’m at a crossroads with myself. I really, really like her and I want to talk being exclusive with her. But I feel like she still needs some time. In female Capricorn’s experiences, what’s the way to move forward from here? Thanks for reading