u/Jingeridit

The report I have been working on feels complete within the scope set for it. I have now made a start on reaching out to psychologists, institutes, and local universities to share the report, have it looked over, and discuss how it may be able to assist with social research efforts relating to struggles and lack of opportunities for people to form attachments with other people.

Thank you for your input and feedback on the report. Will just need to see where to take things from here.

Thank you to everyone here who gave feedback and commented on my report regarding the endemic of unattachment entrapment in our society. This is a matter which is closet to my heart, so I am very grateful and most appreciative of everyone’s support and encouragement.

I have taken the feedback on board and have incorporated the recommendations into the report, so that it now addresses the matter of incel culture, along with including the general female perspective of how they are affected by their experiences of dating and socialising. I have also expanded on the section detailing the proposed model for making our work and social system to be family- and community focused. There are a few other changes, but these ones are the main changes.

My wish for this report, is that it is now able to facilitate an understanding of the challenges and struggles with seeking and forming attachments, between the male and female experiences of dating and socialising.

The past few years have been both a learning experience, and quite disheartening with trying to find love while seeing all the negativity, sadness, and suffering in our society, particularly with regards to abuse, the weakening state of our relationships, and lack of relationships. I’ve been actively getting involved socially and with my community through volunteering, my jobs, social and hobby groups, singles’ mixers, online [lack of] dating, speed dating, going to nightclubs with a friend etc.

After recently reading through some books, namely Dr Sue Johnson’s “Hold Me Tight” and “The Love Secret”, I decided to write this report to put all the experiences, knowledge, and observations from my mind on to paper. Based on my experience, the experiences of other people I know, and people I see when I’m out and about, it feels like we’re trapped in a state of being by ourselves, or singleness. Given the nature of this relationship issue in our society, I have given it the term “Unattachment Entrapment”.

From seeing all the online discourse surrounding dating and relationships being framed by gender wars, dismissiveness of peoples’ struggles and emotions, solely focussing on the negative and abusive relationships, apathy, and defeatism, there’s a strong feeling of hostility and suspicion when discussing and exploring this aspect of peoples’ lives. It’s very tiring and saddening.

My wish for this report is to provide a different perspective on this matter, where conversation can be had in a way which seeks understanding of one another. I wish for this so that we can instead work together on what can be done to make it possible to have opportunities for developing the deeper level of relationship needed to foster and maintain a healthy functional society.

I hope you find your experience of reading this report to be a motivating one, and the message it conveys, resonates with you.