Genuine question regarding getting into character
Hello Everyone! I've recently been trying to get into acting/voice acting and so far, I've been running into a constant and consistent issue. Throughout my whole life, I've been someone who will talk to himself almost ad nauseum, doing voices, or just thinking things out loud whenever I thought them. More specifically, I've been someone who can sing, pretend to do scenes from shows and movies without a care in the world, besides minor potential embarrassment. For context, I am, more than likely, autistic and very much tone deaf, according to those around me, as well as my cadence not at all matching a normal person's (Shown high signs but never been diagnosed officially, this will make more sense in a moment)
The reason I say all this is because when I've been sitting down and trying to find potential roles to audition for/rehearse, it feels as though my brain itself can't break out of its cage and play the part. It only ever feels like me performing a simulacrum of the character rather than the character performing through me. I know that I'm fully capable of getting into character, especially when I'll pretend to do whole music videos on the spot just from listening to the lyrics and performing interpretive dance type stuff. I'll spend a few days or a week going through the audition scripts/monologues, come up with scenarios and settings to match what was given to me, but when I put it out there, it sounds awful. It feels as though I am ashamed of the walls hearing any kind of performance. I'm not overtly anxious or socially awkward, mainly just can't make eye contact, and I only try to perform when I'm alone, so I don't know
I guess I'm mainly asking if this is something that is normal for someone who is new to acting/voice acting or is it something that I genuinely need to tackle before beginning to find any kind of success or progress?
(Sorry if this was slightly disjointed, just trying to ask this question before I forget to ask it)