u/JuicyUcey420

I don’t really know what to think, on one hand, I am already showing better and healthier traits. I’ve slowly been feeling hungrier and am able to stomach basically one more bite everyday. My sleep habits are getting better. My wife looks happier without me stepping out to smoke before doing literally anything. I haven’t thrown up in 3 days. However, today I’ve had probably by far my worst depressive episode I have in years.. I didn’t\don’t feel happy, bored all day, everything and anything stressed me out or overwhelmed me. My temper felt shorter than normal like I went into everything I did with a lit fuse. I cried for while at the thought that I’m gonna lose all my friends because I’m different or a burden now. I’m trying to balance everything and stay this perfect husband, which I never have been but it’s what my wife deserves, but I can’t. I’m scared because I’m not good at opening up in person, I just bottle up everything and weed was the easiest way to deal because after a dab or two, that bottle emptied or I was so numb I just restarted. I stared at a joint my roommate left in the ashtray for a good 30 minutes today, tempted for “just one hit” but walked away bc knowing me I would have finished it. I so tired of hating who I am. I don’t know WHO I am without weed, I don’t think I knew then, but I know I felt happier or was better at hiding it. Here’s to another day, week, then month.. I just hope mentally things begin to get better.

Hey friends! First post here, I've been apart of this reddit for some time always reading your guys' experiences and knowledge. A little bit about me. Im 26M, ive been smoking since I was 14, I got a medical card when I was 18, didnt renew it after like 2023 because everywhere that I have lived/traveled to has been recreational lying legal and whats the point in paying for a license to do something almost anyone else can do (dont grill me I know there's differences here and there but to where it applies to me, not enough change to make a difference) I have been having stomach issues for about the last 2 years more so and within the last 3-5 months ive been in and out of the doctor more than I have ever been in my life. Everyday its the same thing I wake up, feeling perfectly fine, the moment I open my eyes, no issues. It starts the moment I sit up and go to stand up. It feels like my body is grabbing my stomach and ringing it out like a wet rag. If I ate anything past like 10 when I usually go to bed, its coming up. Otherwise, its a yellowish/sometimes white acid. Most mornings this goes for the first 2-3 hours of being up, sometimes all day. Sometimes right after everything will feel fine and almost as if hunger is coming back, and then I'll get sick AGAIN. I've been trying to get this in check and as stupid as it sounds, I was hoping to be the one to prove the internet wrong. I was hoping I'd find whatever trick I needed to make it so the pain would either go away fast or just not exist, I tried smoking different strains, different intakes (dabs, edibles, flower, etc), different times. And nothing, all led back to the same exact agonizing pain.

Flash forward to today. I found out this last weekend my one dream in life is finally coming true, im gonna be a dad.. ive been with my wife just as long as ive been smoking, and when we got together, I didn't know what I wanted, but I was also a 14 y/o hormonal teenager. After being with her as long as I have, all I've wanted is to be a dad and start a family with her. We've had names picked out for at least like 5-6 years if not longer. Knowing that our dream is coming true, I don't want to be a roadblock in our journey. I don't want me and my wife to be "twinning" and syncing up our morning sickness. I want to be her rock and her support but in order to do that, I gotta finally put it down. Today is day one. My friends have all purchased my bongs/rigs/puffcos/and everything so I dont have the temptation in my face and actually have some extra pocket money to put into a new hobby or something. The little bit of product I had I gave to my best friend and told him have fun.

What was your guys' first week or few weeks look like? How did you overcome or what was recovery like? How long did it take to get on top of a normal appetite? Im terrified im gonna starve myself because I dont think I actually know what being hungry is at this point. I just know after I smoked I could eat. Thank you to anyone who even took the time to read this, and again for all the support. If you have any questions about my habits, what ive done, or anything else, AMA. I'm an open book.