u/Just-Engineering-879

Late 30s, working in big tech. Recently my manager told me I’m being placed on a formal PIP, and today I have a meeting with HR titled “performance concerns.”

Honestly, I’ve mentally checked out already. Relationships with my manager/team have deteriorated over time, and I no longer have the motivation or trust needed to “turn things around.” The environment has become stressful enough that I don’t really want to continue there anymore.

My main concern now is handling the exit strategically and professionally.

I don’t want:
- a termination on record
- negative wording during future background/reference checks
- to impulsively resign and lose leverage

What I would ideally want is:
- a mutual separation / negotiated exit
- possibly some garden leave or payout
- a neutral reference / employment verification outcome

Question for people who’ve been through this:
Would it be unwise to raise the idea of a mutual separation during the HR meeting itself? Could that backfire and make them frame things as “employee lacks interest/engagement,” accelerating termination?

Or is it actually better to proactively negotiate before the formal PIP process starts?

Would really appreciate advice from HR folks, managers, or anyone who has navigated a big-tech PIP situation before.
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Late 30s, working in tech, and feeling increasingly uneasy about my current situation at work.
I’ve been with the same company for several years, but over the past couple of months there’s been a noticeable shift in management behaviour toward me. More frequent check-ins, closer scrutiny of day-to-day activity, requests for unusually detailed updates, and encouragement to gather positive feedback from peers. At the same time, isolated criticisms or complaints seem to be getting amplified far more than before.
It’s reached a point where I constantly feel like I’m under a microscope and being quietly set up for formal performance management, even though there hasn’t been any direct indication yet (but gut indicates something fishy is happening).
Financially, I’m not in the strongest position either (limited emergency savings), which makes the uncertainty worse.
A few questions for people who’ve experienced similar situations:

1. If you sense things are heading toward a PIP or managed exit, is it generally better to leave once another opportunity comes through rather than trying to “fight it out” for the sake of a possible payout/severance?

2. In Australia, can companies effectively performance-manage employees out without redundancy or severance? Feels like a lost battle if I land in this situation (lost mental health when on PIP & no severance in the end).

3. Has anyone proactively discussed a mutually agreed exit with management before things escalated further? Did it help preserve professionalism and mental health, or did it backfire? More specifically can I ask upfront in my next 1:1 with my manager that I’m ready for mutual negotiations for a peaceful exit strategy - would this go down well or rather they’ll grill me more considering this as a weakness?

Mainly trying to understand whether it’s smarter to protect mental wellbeing and move on early, versus hanging on in hopes things improve or lead to some form of package.
Would genuinely appreciate perspectives from people who’ve been through corporate restructures, PIPs, or difficult management situations.