u/Just_a_soft_girlie

Hello guys.

I hope it's ok for me to ask this, but has anyone here legit received a gift or something valuable from someone on Reddit, either from the community or abroad, and it really turned out to be something true and with no strings attached?

Do you believe that some people are genuinely whole hearted, and how can one gauge genuine intentions vs those that could lead to serious consequences?

Met someone here, been having very stimulating conversation for a while, and just recently, they kinda proposed to send me something after a bit of ranting on my end, was excited at first (maybe I'm a bit gullible), but after telling my siz, she strongly advised me against it and I got kinda wary about the idea. The something though would have been something very valuable to me, but I've just been going down a rabbit hole thinking of all the ways I could be an accomplice to crime and could land myself in trouble for trusting online strangers, and I kinda feel like I lead with good intentions sometimes and I could have been projecting that onto everyone I come across.

I apologize if this seems like a low quality post, but I just need a bit of advice :)

I made a previous post about this in the ladies community.

But again, my question goes, why are some parents so hellbent on pointing out their children's insecurities?

I'm related to this parent, and this kid who I love with all my heart and soul and being. When the kid was young, I stayed with her and my mom (like from birth till when she was in class 1) and we formed some kind of attachment, I actually named her, she's my favorite kid, I remember she used to be such a free spirit, very bold, shining like a star whenever she was in the company of other kids.

Then her parent took her.

Over the years, this kid has grown very quiet, and withdrawn and just wants to fade into the background. Last December we met at home, and tulikuwa tunaongea na huyu mtoto and she really broke down on how she has been having a tough time at school. She's 11 btw, na she's a kachubby baby girl, so so beautiful, and she was telling us vile kids at school make fun of her calling her fat, she's not even fat if that what you'd call it, she's just those healthy chubby kids, and she's very flexible might I add 😭 f*ck I'm crying. And yk, it's okay coz everyone is bullied at school, but tell me why the mom is the first bully.The mom will be the first to say 'huyu amenona sana' when you guys meet up for the first time. And imagine the kid literally took up the mom's body, coz the mom is not a petite woman.

The mom makes very ill comments of her mbele ya watoto wengine and they laugh at her, kama she says 'na mchungane na huyo, anakuanga very rough and careless' na mtoto akiskia vibaya aanze kulia the mom says 'huyo achana naye anakuanga hivo'. And I promise,this kid is the most talented, well spoken, smartest, helpful hardworking baby girl I've ever come across in the gen alpha group.

Jana, we met up again and I had bought the kid some clothes and nice earrings (I always try to treat her so gently, and tell her she is beautiful, and I'm envious of her skin tone and I'm envious of how she blends well with the camera, and try to get her to come sit close to me whenever I see her exclude herself, like it makes me happy to see her play and have fun carefree without being cautious of the mom's monitoring eye). So I asked her to change, and the kid undid the knot in her braids so her hair was flowing over her shoulders, then we went downstairs.

Tell me why the mom calls her, starts asking why the kid changed from the clothes she dressed her up in. I move close, and I tell the mom ni mimi nilimforce achange coz I wanted to see how she looks in the new clothes (and she looked so beautiful, ilikuwa some jeans and t-shirt na the mum anapenda kumvalisha some very ugly looking sweatpants). The mum then asked why she had undone the pigtail knot in her hair, and I said that I'm the one who removed the pigtails coz akichange top, ilikuwa inmsumbua. And the mom says 'mimi ndio najua what hairstyle works for you, coz it all depends with the shape of ones head, and kuachilia nywele inafanya kichwa yako ikae vibaya'

Imagine! 💔

Mimi I just said 'mimi I think anakaa tu poa na hii style, na kila kitu inamsuit'

Then the mom forced her to go change, na she went away crying 💔

Hata hakucheza musical chairs na watoto wengine na she kept looking at them having fun from the bedroom window upstairs 💔

Why would you ever do that to your own child! Coz mimi husema if I ever get one I'll love her more than I love myself, or anyone else for that matter. I don't care if I kill them with too much of it.

I wish I had way to steal this child from her mum and love her beyond everything she ever thought was possible.

Stop bullying your kids, it's ruins them!

Na kama hautaki mtoto, just abort!

I have a whole lot more I could write about this, but I think I'd write two pages full. That's just the most recent encounter.

I was headed to town leo, so I took a mat. Ilikuwa imejaa so tukasimama, na nilikuwa nimesimama huko nyuma. Some guy had to alight, na alikuwa amekaa hapo nyuma, so I immediately thought 'nice, nimepata space'. He looked very rugged by the way, and sisi wenye tulikuwa kwa aisle we had to squeeze a bit to let him through.

Tell me why he passes by me, anapita nyuma yangu so you get the image, and he rubs his hand across my butt and murmurs 'sasa' behind me. I turn around and he winks as he hops out, argh. Aki I sat down so quick, and I felt so embarrassed and I really hoped no one had seen it. And I was so angry, and I can still feel his rough hand there hadi sahii😭

That was so uncalled for, I really wanted to alight and go back home, but I was headed to drop some documents for a job application and I just had to go along with it.

Argh, I felt so frustrated. Nimeresolve kufunga sweater on my waist any time kwa mat henceforth 😖

Mbona ufanyie hivo mtu na hata hakupei signs at all surely 😭

That was so rough of him 😖

And before you start saying it's coz of how he looked that I feel so repulsed, I disagree. There is something called consent, regardless of who you are!

Hello.

I finished my undergraduate civil & structural engineering studies last year. It's been so hard trying to get into an internship despite applying everywhere I come across; talk of reaching out to people directly even on DM and LinkedIN, cold emailing, physical applications, yk the drill. Been fruitless so far, it's been 5 months of sending applications, despairing, and trying my best to still keep my hopes up. It appears you have to know people on a more personal level. Lol.

I got into digital marketing to keep myself from despairing, which is also a bit slow coz it's just starting, but at least it gives me a bit of purpose.

Also tried to apply to jobs outside my career that I come across, but for most of the ones I've landed so far, the pay is too little to even sustain myself, leave alone cater for monthly expenses. I was willing to trade low pay for growth in my career as an entry level graduate, but when I'm not getting any, it just feels hopeless for me.

Anyway, I'm posting this here with hopes it leads somewhere, either advice, or a mentor, or an opportunity, or even to grow my network.

I'm willing to grow and learn in the field, despite not having adequate field experience, and I'm good in software (AutoCAD, ArchiCAD, Civil 3D, Revit) and design.

Open to all fields of civil and structural engineering: either roads, structural, water, or geotechnical (which my coursework covered),and flexible to explore all of them before I decide on the trajectory of my career.

Aside from the civil & structural field, I am also good with graphics design, video marketing, MS office suite, Research and technical writing, AI application.

I am flexible with remote work, or physical work (and ok with relocation too, because I understand my location might pose some hindrance in that aspect, from Kenya btw).

Also, if you have any advice you can give a young female in the field, or leads, or opportunities, I'd be super grateful.

Apologies for the extra long post :)

This is super embarrassing 😭😂

Some time last year I came to my sister's to stay for a few weeks before school reopened. Now, I had been there before, and she had told me it was still the same place, so I was pretty confident I remembered everything including the house number. During my previous stay there, I had obtained a copy of the gate key for myself for whenever I had to leave the house, and I still had this copy with me.

Now, I was supposed to keep my siz updated of my progress with the travel so that when I was close, she'd pick me from the stage coz she thought I did not remember the apartment. However, after a bit of silly and witty thinking on my part, I decided sikutaka ajue place nimefika so I could just surprise her, ndio afungue mlango anipate hapo, and she'd be surprised and we'd laugh about it for a few hours.

So, whenever my siz called to ask place nimefika, I'd lie I was still in town nikingoja mat when in reality I was just alighting at the stage in the area she stayed.

Nilifika kwa gate, unlocked it, nikafunga, nikapanda stairs headed towards the house iko hapo kwa corner on the first floor. All this time, I'm silently thanking God for the safe travels, and cheesing stupidly just imagining the surprise on my sister's face akiniona coz she thinks sijatoka town. I was basically skipping along the flight of stairs, aki I was so elated, and I was so proud of myself for being such a witty character.

So I got to the door, then I started knocking. My knocks were getting louder and more persistent, and I was shouting 'open the door!' nikitumia sauti ya ile meme fulani. Then I realized the light was switched off in the living room, so nikaanza kusema na ile sauti ya Andrew Kibe, 'nani huyo anezima stima!' all the while I'm laughing so hard, and calling my sister's name saying 'We (name) wacha jokes, najua unaniskia, ebu fungua' and I'm knocking in drumming intervals. The lights were switched on again, then nikaingiza mkono kwa hiyo shimo, trying to open the latch, and then trying to push the door curtain aside so I could see why my siz was taking so long.

Then I saw a shadow coming towards the door and I hear the latch opening. Now, I started removing my shoes, and I said, 'Ai, kwani nini imekutake this long' while laughing. Remember, this is around 10 pm ish.

Hata sikumaliza my statement. The door opens, and a man stands there, and I am so confused, and he is very confused and surprised as well. He genuinely looks stricken. Then he says, "unatafuta nani?". And I realize what is happening, and I bring my hands to my mouth, and I realize I messed up, and I've been banging and knocking at the wrong door. I desperately try to apologize, and I'm trying to explain to him that I really thought my siz lived there, and I am realizing he actually thought it was a thief coz it's someone unlocking his door latch at 10 pm!

And I'm so embarrassed and I'm so so sorry, and I grab my shoes, and my bag and I run around to the side of the stairs.

I call my siz, I'm trying to explain, and she tells me she moved houses and is now on the second floor, and she comes out and I see her at the top of the next flight of stairs and I hurry there with my bag and shoes in hand. And I give her the whole story, and she laughs and is seated on the floor, and I'm super embarrassed, and she pees on herself laughing, and she explains that she was insisting nim-update place nimefika, na she wanted to pick me, coz she had swaped houses and she was not sure I remembered the place well.

Anyway, I learnt to know my boundaries when it comes to being cheeky and being serious, and I still meet the guy from the first floor house from time to time and I avoid eye contact with him until this day, a year later, and I still get that flush of embarrassment. 😭

And we still laugh about that night until this day, and it has been retold to everyone else in my family and some get second hand embarrassment on my behalf 😭