u/Kal_El0511

I recently reached the difficult conclusion of cutting ties with a girl (let her be B) since I had strong, unrequited feelings for her. She is aware of all this love thing , but she has no such feelings for me. I was aware that I had to leave in order to look after my own peace and could finally begin the process of healing, but I am still experiencing intense emotional sensitivity as a result of the breakup.

I also have as one of my long-time friends (let her be A) someone with whom we have recently developed a very strong physical attraction that has led to physical intimacy. We just made out (didn't have sex yet)

The issue is that my present emotional condition is causing me to feel very conflicted. I'm afraid of confusing the boundaries between physical intimacy and true love; I don't wish to treat my physical relationship with A as a temporary remedy for the emotional gap that the B has left behind. Moreover, I place a high regard on our long-standing friendship and don't want to be in a relationship with A, but I have this intimate thing for her also she has no problem in being in FWB.

I don't know what I should do right now.

How do I distinguish between physical intimacy and an emotional connection when I am in a fragile mental state? Was it the correct that I should do now? It will be really helpful if someone can advice me on this.

In rain I stand

All alone and wet

With rejections in my hand

Among all those rejections

One caught my eye

It looked so dull

So painful, so truthful

I feared it to be of the world

I feared it to be of my family

I feared it to be of everyone I love

I feared it

I opened it

||||||

Three individuals emerged

Loathe , wrath and hate

I continued

And they took my shape

Inch to inch there resembled me

One of the them held my collar

The other stroke me down

And the three in unison

Shouted aloud

"We are you, created by you , turned against you"

||||||

Now, In rain I stand

With broken ribs

With broken nose

I read them all

None came from others

All mine , my creation

With despair

I fill them all in a bag

On my shoulders

I carry them

All directions I walk

To miles and miles and miles

Each mile I crossed

It became heavier

I became weaker

||||||

Then came an empty land

I decided to let go of it

I dug a pit

And pushed them all

It wasn't enough

So I dug deeper

Still wasn't enough

And I dug and dug

But still it wasn't enough

With no option left

I carried them all

Again to miles and miles and miles

To mountains, valleys , rivers and deserts

||||||

Now I walk and walk and walk

The sun shone , the sun set

The land dried

The rains came by

And with each mile

My bag grew heavier

Now all I am left

Is me and my bag

Full of rejections

All mine!

~𝘈𝘯𝘫𝘪