u/Kalypso989

My husband and I recently honeymooned in ONP and cannot wait to take another trip there!

I saw her Sunday, loved on her and snuggled her in the field. I get a call Wednesday that she broke her leg and was euthanized to not make her suffer. It's the suddeness of it, you know? The guilt of having talked myself out of going to the barn after the gym because "there's tomorrow, I can spend more time out there then" when I could have possibly prevented it by seeing her and changing the course of her fate.

My friend who owns the barn is also her vet and I find some solace knowing that Illusion did not suffer long and that there was no way to repair the break where it happened. Illusion had just turned 28 in February, was gaining weight, muscle, and thriving. Of all the things that took her out, a slip on the grass and boom, she's gone. I think my body is still in shock. I have her tail, pieces of her mane, braided my hair into hers, and all my memories of her.

I have another horse, a young OTTB I purchased a few years ago who has been a comfort to me but my bond with Illusion was unmatched. If there is any advice on how to navigate this, I would be grateful. I cannot stop crying randomly and the heaviness is hard to carry through during work as a therapist during the week. ​

I just want someone to know she existed, she was my best friend and confidant, and I will never get over her passing. ​

I saw her Sunday, loved on her and snuggled her in the field. I get a call Wednesday that she broke her leg and was euthanized to not make her suffer. It's the suddeness of it, you know? The guilt of having talked myself out of going to the barn after the gym because "there's tomorrow, I can spend more time out there then" when I could have possibly prevented it by seeing her and changing the course of her fate.

My friend who owns the barn is also her vet and I find some solace knowing that Illusion did not suffer long and that there was no way to repair the break where it happened. Illusion had just turned 28 in February, was gaining weight, muscle, and thriving. Of all the things that took her out, a slip on the grass and boom, she's gone. I think my body is still in shock. I have her tail, pieces of her mane, braided my hair in with hers, and all my memories of her.

I have another horse, a young OTTB I purchased a few years ago who has been a comfort to me but my bond with Illusion was unmatched. If there is any advice on how to navigate this, I would be grateful. I cannot stop crying randomly and the heaviness is hard to carry through during work as a therapist during the week. ​

I just want someone to know she existed, she was my best friend and confidant, and I will never get over her passing. ​