Uber Fare
Hey Stavvy baby! I love you and Eldis. Just a quick ask to see if you have a Comedian Acceleration Fund, because I need Uber fares to get to the comedy clubs to start my standup. Background - 50 yo, bartender, law school grad, touch of tism, ace, drug-lover, traveler, basically I did the lived life and now I'm ready to start the comedy.
I have been writing, and have a 30 min sitcom pilot. a hour special with 20 mins fleshed, and a ton of stories. You were my inspiration to start writing, when I started watching your Youtube stuff with the missing tooth and orange glasses. I cut my hair in your honor (not bald, I shave it) and eventually will be sporting the Krusty, which I got from Devon Laratt.
So Eldis's intern may be asking, what's this guy's cred? Here's a joke I wrote today. I worry about roasts, because I'm not a mean person and they seem cruel. But I work at it. So this a 3 day old Chicago Roast battle - at about 24 mins is a battle, white boy gets smoked. But I wondered what a good burn would be, as an actually funny white guy. I wrote three good jokes and here's the best IMO - "Hey, before I get started, did anybody see Lovell (black guy) name's on the front door and come because he's your daddy? If so, I can give up some time to meet him for the first time. Come on up and say hello. OH! I see a lot of angry hands, Lovell! He doesn't have money kids! He's doing open mikes! Don't rush the stage!"
Stavvy baby! Bring me to NYC and let me skip the StL open mikes! I hate this state! It was worth a shot.....
PS - If I got to tour, I am a 9/10 cook that will take your chicken and pepps to a new level. My chili won awards, and my Chicago tavern pizza kills. Fuck that meal prep. I am also fat. Who cares?