A Colleague's Advice That Changed How I Deal With My Past
For a long time I had this habit I couldn't shake. I would sit and think about things from my past, over and over, even things that happened years ago that I had no control over anymore. It didn't matter if it was a mistake, a regret, or just something that didn't go the way I wanted. My mind would keep going back to it, and it affected my mood almost every single day.
One day a colleague of mine noticed I seemed off and asked what was wrong. I ended up telling her, and instead of just sympathizing, she said something simple but direct. She told me life is too short to keep carrying around things that are already over. What's gone is gone, and no amount of sitting with it changes what happened. She said the only thing I actually have control over is now, the present, and I was wasting it by living in a version of time I couldn't do anything about. Something about the way she said it stuck with me. It wasn't a lecture, just an honest observation from someone who clearly meant well. I went home that day still thinking about it, and over the next few weeks I noticed myself actually trying to apply it. Whenever my mind started drifting back to old regrets or past situations, I would consciously pull myself back to whatever I was doing right then.
It didn't happen overnight, but slowly it became easier. I stopped dwelling the way I used to, and honestly my day-to-day mood improved a lot because of it. I still think about the past sometimes, that's normal, but it doesn't control me the way it used to.
It's strange how one honest conversation with a coworker ended up changing a mindset I'd had for years. Has anyone else had a moment like that, where someone's offhand advice ended up sticking with you far more than you expected?