u/Kindly-Situation-445

Ugh I need advice….

My barn manager is not the world’s easiest person to deal with. The property is ancient and a bit unwieldy so I help out a lot. She cannot manage to keep a steady mucker so I tend to do Saturdays for $60 - about 8 hours of work. She also has me teach beginner lessons which I do make $40 per lesson. However, I pay $600 in board and have to pay $40 additional because my horse is on a different feed, along with a few of her horses. I also buy additional bedding because he is messy.

My barn manager can be extremely passive aggressive, confrontational, and just plain rude. She texts at all hours of the day/night, and has a lot to say about everyone’s horse, riding, tack, etc. She’s the kind of person that you text other boarders to see what mood she is in to prepare yourself before you get to the barn.

My horse is in a seperate paddock you have to through the main paddock to get to. The other day, I rode my horse at 2:30pm, and went to put him away at 3:45. A horse from the main paddock pushed into his paddock before I could shut the gate. So here I am, trying to rush one horse out of the paddock while holding my horse. In the process, the horse that had pushed in ran out the gate and kicked one of my barn manager’s horses, who was observing.

I texted my barn manager just to let her know in case he came up sore. It wasn’t a hard kick but still. She goes ballistic. She says it’s my fault because I riled up the other horses by putting him in “close to dinner time”. Dinner time is anywhere between 4:30-6pm. She tells me I made a stupid decision, and tells me she isn’t bringing my horse in to feed him. At this point, I’m halfway down to the road to get back to work, so I turn around so I can turn my horse in to eat dinner.

When I get there, she had brought all the horses in except mine and a notoriously spicy horse. She had opened my horse’s gate so he was in with the spicy horse. Because all the other horses were inside for dinner, the horses were anxious and started fighting. I ran to the gate and screamed “they’re gonna kill each other” and she said “I don’t care” and then said if I brought my horse in she would put him back outside. I did bring my horse in and told her not to touch him. She keeps hurling insults the whole time, saying no one cares about her and we are all selfish.

I feel like it’s time to leave. The worst part is, I’m in an urban area and there isn’t many barns within an hour. I found a good barn that will take my horse ASAP but is $1k a month and has no income opportunities. But honestly - atleast I won’t be the one doing all the work!! I have to do so many barn chores, especially considering I pay for “full care”. Unpaid work I do includes: picking turnouts, feeding horses, shoveling manure pile, general repairs,etc.

Do I stay at the cheaper barn and risk suffering and my horse potentially suffering? Maybe I give her a list of non negotiables? Or do I go to the pricey barn and just cut ties.

TLDR: Angry barn manager worth it for cheaper board?

Ugh I need advice….

My barn manager is not the world’s easiest person to deal with. The property is ancient and a bit unwieldy so I help out a lot. She cannot manage to keep a steady mucker so I tend to do Saturdays for $60 - about 8 hours of work. She also has me teach beginner lessons which I do make $40 per lesson. However, I pay $600 in board and have to pay $40 additional because my horse is on a different feed, along with a few of her horses. I also buy additional bedding because he is messy.

My barn manager can be extremely passive aggressive, confrontational, and just plain rude. She texts at all hours of the day/night, and has a lot to say about everyone’s horse, riding, tack, etc. She’s the kind of person that you text other boarders to see what mood she is in to prepare yourself before you get to the barn.

My horse is in a seperate paddock you have to through the main paddock to get to. The other day, I rode my horse at 2:30pm, and went to put him away at 3:45. A horse from the main paddock pushed into his paddock before I could shut the gate. So here I am, trying to rush one horse out of the paddock while holding my horse. In the process, the horse that had pushed in ran out the gate and kicked one of my barn manager’s horses, who was observing.

I texted my barn manager just to let her know in case he came up sore. It wasn’t a hard kick but still. She goes ballistic. She says it’s my fault because I riled up the other horses by putting him in “close to dinner time”. Dinner time is anywhere between 4:30-6pm. She tells me I made a stupid decision, and tells me she isn’t bringing my horse in to feed him. At this point, I’m halfway down to the road to get back to work, so I turn around so I can turn my horse in to eat dinner.

When I get there, she had brought all the horses in except mine and a notoriously spicy horse. She had opened my horse’s gate so he was in with the spicy horse. Because all the other horses were inside for dinner, the horses were anxious and started fighting. I ran to the gate and screamed “they’re gonna kill each other” and she said “I don’t care” and then said if I brought my horse in she would put him back outside. I did bring my horse in and told her not to touch him. She keeps hurling insults the whole time, saying no one cares about her and we are all selfish.

I feel like it’s time to leave. The worst part is, I’m in an urban area and there isn’t many barns within an hour. I found a good barn that will take my horse ASAP but is $1k a month and has no income opportunities. But honestly - atleast I won’t be the one doing all the work!! I have to do so many barn chores, especially considering I pay for “full care”. Unpaid work I do includes: picking turnouts, feeding horses, shoveling manure pile, general repairs,etc.

Do I stay at the cheaper barn and risk suffering and my horse potentially suffering? Maybe I give her a list of non negotiables? Or do I go to the pricey barn and just cut ties.

TLDR: Angry barn manager worth it for cheaper board?